Daily WHUFC News - 11th May 2013

Everton match preview
WHUFC.com
All the essential details ahead of West Ham United's final away game of the
season at Goodison Park
10.05.2013

EVERTON v WEST HAM UNITED
BARCLAYS PREMIER LEAGUE
SUNDAY 12 MAY 2013
KICK-OFF: 3PM
REFEREE: MIKE JONES
FULL AUDIO AND TEXT COMMENTARY - WEST HAM TV

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Introduction
• West Ham have lost just two of their previous nine Barclays Premier League
fixtures.
• David Moyes' Everton go into the weekend sixth in the Barclays Premier
League table, having collected 60 points from 36 matches played. Victory
this Saturday would mean the Toffees will definitely finish in the top six
and maintain their hopes of leapfrogging Tottenham Hotspur into fifth
position and a UEFA Europa League place.
• Moyes will take charge of Everton at Goodison Park for the final time
after eleven years in charge of the club. The Toffees confirmed on Thursday
that the Scot will leave the club when his contract expires at the end of
the season.
• Everton have been outstanding at home this season, winning eleven, drawing
six and losing just one of their 18 home Barclays Premier League fixtures.
Everton's sole home defeat of the season came at the hands of Chelsea (1-2)
on 30 December 2012.
• There have been just two goals scored in Everton's previous four Barclays
Premier League fixtures. Goalless draws at Arsenal and Liverpool have come
either side of a 1-0 defeat at Sunderland and 1-0 home win over Fulham.
• West Ham and Everton have met 125 previously in competitive fixtures. The
Hammers have had the worst of things over the years, winning 36 to Everton's
62, with 27 draws. In the league, Everton have recorded 56 victories to the
Hammers' 32.
• The Hammers have not won on any of their last five visits to Goodison
Park. West Ham's most-recent success at Everton came on 14 December 2005,
when Bobby Zamora and a David Weir own-goal secured a 2-1 Premier League
victory. However, the Hammers' two most-recent visits have both ended in 2-2
Premier League draws.


Team news

West Ham United

• Centre-back James Tomkins will hope to be in contention after missing the
last three games with a groin injury.
• Left-back George McCartney is ruled out through a knee injury that will
keep him sidelined for the remainder of the season.
• Rob Hall, Ravel Morrison and Paul McCallum are all back in training at
Chadwell Heath after completing their loan spells with Bolton Wanderers,
Birmingham City and Aldershot Town respectively.


Everton

• Captain Phil Neville could miss out on making a farewell appearance at
Goodison Park due to a knee injury.


Background

• West Ham United and Everton have met 105 times in league matches. Everton
have won 52 times, West Ham have won 32 and there have been 21 draws.
Overall, the two clubs have met 125 times, with Everton winning 62, West Ham
36 and there being 27 draws.
• The Toffees are unbeaten in ten matches against their hosts, including the
last eight Premier League meetings. Everton have won 17 of the 33 Premier
League meetings between the two, while West Ham United have won just six.
• The first-ever meeting between West Ham United and Everton was an FA Cup
second-round tie played on 2 February 1907. Harry Stapley scored for the
Hammers, who were then a Southern League side, but the Division One Toffees
ran out 2-1 winners through goals from Jimmy Settle and Jack Sharp. Everton
would go on to reach the final, losing 2-1 to The Wednesday at Crystal
Palace.
• West Ham United and Everton have met twice at the FA Cup semi-final stage,
with each club winning through once on their way to lifting the trophy at
Wembley. The Toffees scored a 2-1 victory at Molineux on 18 March 1933, when
Vic Watson's goal was cancelled out by Ted Critchley and James Dunn, before
beating Manchester City 3-0 at Wembley. The Division Two Hammers gained
their revenge on 16 April 1980, when Frank Lampard and Alan Devonshire
scored in a 2-1 replay victory at Elland Road. West Ham went on to beat
Arsenal 1-0 in the final.
• West Ham United have never scored more than four goals in a game against
Everton - achieving that feat on six occasions. The Hammers' biggest home
victor over the Toffees was a 4-0 Division One success on 11 February 1961,
when Harry Obeney scored twice and John Dick and Malcolm Musgrove once each.
• Vivian Gibbins scored a hat-trick in a 4-0 Division One win at Goodison
Park on 10 April 1929, while Jimmy Ruffell repeated the feat in a 4-2 home
Division One victory on 5 December 1931 - they remain the only two trebles
netted by West Ham United players against Everton.
• Everton's biggest home win over West Ham came on 22 October 1927, when
they romped to a 7-0 Division One victory at Goodison Park. Tommy White
(two), Ted Critchley, Dick Forshaw, Anthony Weldon, a Jack O'Donnell penalty
and a William Henderson own-goal were on the scoresheet.
• Winston Reid scored past Everton goalkeeper Jan Mucha at the 2010 FIFA
World Cup when his last-minute header secured New Zealand a 1-1 group-stage
draw with Slovakia at the Royal Bafokeng Stadium in Rustenburg.
• Mohamed Diame lined up alongside Everton winger Magaye Gueye, who is
currently on loan at French club Stade Brestois, at the London 2012 Olympic
Games, where the pair helped Senegal to reach the quarter-finals.
• John Campbell scored on his debut in the first-ever league meeting between
the West Ham and Everton on 15 March 1924 - a game which ended in a 2-1 home
Division One victory for the Hammers. Born in South Shields, Campbell scored
eleven goals in 29 appearances for the Hammers before joining Clapton Orient
in 1929.
• Academy graduate Mick Beesley was just 18 when he scored on his debut
against Everton on 24 September 1960, but could not prevent West Ham falling
to a 4-1 Division One defeat at Goodison Park. He would make just one more
first-team appearance before joining Southend United in summer 1962.
• David Unsworth made his West Ham debut against Everton just days after
completing a £1million move to the Hammers from the Merseyside club. The
centre-back ended on the losing side as the Toffees won 2-1 in a Premier
League fixture at Goodison Park on 23 August 1997.
• Trevor Sinclair scored twice on his West Ham debut in a 2-2 Premier League
draw with Everton at the Boleyn Ground on 31 January 1998.
• Charlton Athletic loanee goalkeeper Sasa Ilic endured a debut to forget as
West Ham suffered a 4-0 home Premier League defeat by Everton on 26 February
2000. Ilic would never play for the Hammers again.
• George Eastman (18 April 1925), Jimmy Andrews (24 November 1951), Johnny
Cartwright (17 October 1959), Ron Tindall (25 November 1961), Hayden Foxe
(31 March 2001) and James Tomkins (22 March 2008) also made their West Ham
debuts against Everton.

Last time out

Saturday 4 May 2013
Barclays Premier League
West Ham United 0-0 Newcastle United
West Ham United: Jaaskelainen, Reid, O'Brien, Collins, Demel (Taylor 80),
Nolan, Diame, O'Neil, Jarvis (J.Cole 84), Vaz Te (Collison 58), Carroll
Subs not used: Henderson, Pogatetz, Noble, C.Cole
Sunday 5 May 2013
Barclays Premier League
Liverpool 0-0 Everton
Everton: Howard, Baines, Jagielka, Distin, Coleman, Gibson, Osman, Pienaar,
Fellaini, Mirallas (Jelavic 75), Anichebe
Subs not used: Mucha, Hibbert, Heitinga, Duffy, Oviedo, Naismith


Previous meeting

Everton came from behind to secure a 2-1 Barclays Premier League victory at
West Ham United on 22 December 2012. Carlton Cole put the Hammers in front
with a smart touch and finish from outside the penalty area on 14 minutes.
The Toffees played some good football and levelled matters when Victor
Anichebe became the first opposition player to score a header against the
Hammers this season on 64 minutes. David Moyes' side then hit the front when
Steven Pienaar scrambled the ball home with 16 minutes remaining - just
seconds after Cole had been harshly sent-off after catching Leighton Baines.
Cole's red card was later rescinded, as was that of Everton's Darron Gibson,
who caught Mark Mark Noble with a high boot late on.
West Ham United: Jaaskelainen, Reid, O'Brien (Spence 81), Tomkins, Collins,
Nolan, Jarvis (Collison 88), Taylor, Noble, O'Neil (Maiga 58), C.Cole
Subs not used: Spiegel, Diarra, Moncur, Lletget
Everton: Howard, Baines, Heitinga, Jagielka, Distin, Neville (Naismith 85),
Gibson, Osman, Pienaar (Oviedo 88), Jelavic, Anichebe (Duffy 90)
Subs not used: Mucha, Hitzlsperger, Barkley, Vellios

Last six meetings (Premier League unless stated)

22 December 2012 - West Ham United 1-2 Everton
22 January 2011 - Everton 2-2 West Ham United
28 December 2010 - West Ham United 1-1 Everton
4 April 2010 - Everton 2-2 West Ham United
8 November 2009 - West Ham United 1-2 Everton
16 May 2009 - Everton 3-1 West Ham United

Overall record v Everton (all competitions) W 36 D 27 L 62


Ten-year records

West Ham United

2011/12 Championship 3rd (86 points - promoted via Play-Offs)
2010/11 Premier League 20th (33 points - relegated to Championship)
2009/10 Premier League 17th (35 points)
2008/09 Premier League 9th (51 points)
2007/08 Premier League 10th (49 points)
2006/07 Premier League 15th (41 points)
2005/06 Premier League 9th (55 points)
2004/05 Championship 6th (73 points - promoted via play-offs)
2003/04 Championship 4th (74 points)
2002/03 Premier League 18th (42 points - relegated to Championship)

Everton

2011/12 Premier League 7th (56 points)
2010/11 Premier League 7th (54 points)
2009/10 Premier League 8th (61 points)
2008/09 Premier League 5th (63 points)
2007/08 Premier League 5th (65 points)
2006/07 Premier League 6th (58 points)
2005/06 Premier League 11th (50 points)
2004/05 Premier League 4th (61 points)
2003/04 Premier League 17th (39 points)
2002/03 Premier League 7th (59 points)


Referee

• Sunday's referee will be Mike Jones.
• An experienced official, Jones was promoted to the Football League list of
referees in 1997, with his first match in charge being Mansfield Town versus
Hull City on 9 August of that year.

• Jones has refereed more than 30 matches every season since the 1997/98
campaign, totalling more than 500 senior matches over the last 14 years.

• The official has also taken charge of his fair share of big matches, being
selected to referee the 2007 League Two Play-Off final between Bristol
Rovers and Shrewsbury Town, and the 2007 FA Trophy final between Stevenage
Borough and York City.

• Jones became a Select Group Referee in 2008 and his first match in the
top-flight was Hull City versus Wigan Athletic on 30 August 2008.

• Jones has taken charge of 12 West Ham United matches, the most-recent
being the 1-0 Barclays Premier League defeat at Manchester United on 28
November 2012.


Old boys

• Everton midfielder Thomas Hitzlsperger spent the 2010/11 season at the
Boleyn Ground joining the club in June 2010. Injury hampered his spell at
the club and he did not make his debut until February 2011 when he played in
the FA Cup fifth round against Burnley. He made his league debut in a 3-1
win over Liverpool and he scored his first goal in a 3-0 win over Stoke City
on 5 March 2011.

• Among the players who have represented both clubs are Niclas
Alexandersson, Ray Atteveld, Slaven Bilic, Ian Bishop, Joe Blythe, David
Burrows, Tony Cottee, Charlie Crossley, George Eccles, William Kelly, George
Kitchen, Alex McCartney, Lucas Neill, John Russell, David Unsworth, Mark
Ward, William Wildman, Danny Williamson and Richard Wright.


General information

• All Standard tickets for Sunday's trip to Goodison Park are now SOLD OUT.
Nine pairs of Wheelchair/Carer tickets are still available for this fixture.
Click here for details.

• Saturday's weather forecast at the Goodison Park is for light rain with
maximum temperatures reaching 11C (52F).

• West Ham United travel to Everton for their final Barclays Premier League
away match of 2012/13 on Sunday looking to secure a victory that will keep
them inside the top ten.

• The Hammers have collected 43 points from 36 matches, chalking up three
victories on their travels at Queens Park Rangers (2-1), Newcastle United
(1-0) and Stoke City (1-0). Sam Allardyce's side have also picked up draws
at Norwich City, West Bromwich Albion, Liverpool (all 0-0) and Southampton
(1-1).

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Big Sam on: Everton
WHUFC.com
Big Sam spoke to the press ahead of the Hammers' Barclays Premier League
visit to Everton
10.05.2013

Sam Allardyce insists it will be business as usual for his side, as West Ham
United travel to Goodison Park in what will be David Moyes' final home game
in charge of Everton. While Big Sam fully expects it to be a momentous
occasion for his opposite number, he doesn't foresee any let-up from the
high-flying Toffees. As for Moyes' appointment as Manchester United manager,
the Hammers boss reckons he is the ideal man to succeed Sir Alex Ferguson,
even if it takes time to acclimatise.

It's going to be a strange atmosphere on Sunday. What do you think it will
be like?

SA: "I don't know quite how it's going to be to be honest with you. I
suppose that it's a difficult situation, albeit not for us. We'll go into
the game as professional as ever wanting to try and, if we can, claim three
points at Everton. "In terms of the last home game of David's reign as
Everton manager, it will be an emotional affair for him. But I'm sure,
knowing David as well as I do, that he'll be professional enough and calm
enough to control his emotions and do his very best to prepare the team to
go and win. So I don't expect any favours whatsoever. "I would have thought
and hoped from his point of view that the crowd appreciate what he has done
and show their appreciation. At the end of the day, it's an enormous move
for him and his career has gone to the next level. For what he has done at
Everton over the last eleven years, I don't think anyone can do anything
other than applaud him."

Were you surprised that Sir Alex Ferguson himself recommended David Moyes to
the Manchester United board?

SA: "I'm not surprised. Apart from his talent as a manager, I think it's his
stability that he's shown at Everton. Manchester United need to move on and
try to establish the same sort of stability Sir Alex has given them over the
last 27 years. I think David Moyes is a perfect candidate to try and emulate
what Sir Alex has done, which will be the hardest job he has ever faced.

Having known David for many years, how do you think he will approach it?

SA: "Head on. He'll try to establish his personality and his ideas. I'm sure
he'll adjust but not too quickly. I think it's something he'll do relatively
slowly and he'll try to move the club forward on the same level that it has
been before. It's a huge task for him and the staff that he takes with him.
It is one of the biggest jobs in the world of club football, so it's a
fantastic opportunity for him."

Were you surprised by the timing of Sir Alex's announcement?

SA: "Having had a few days to look at it, probably not, because it's all
timed for the last home game on Sunday, that he's appreciated by the
thousands of supporters that turn out at Old Trafford. Not just picking up
the Barclays Premier League trophy, but also Sir Alex's last home game. So I
suppose from that point of view, that's why it has come out when it as.
"David Moyes has done eleven years at Everton under very difficult
circumstances and managed to secure his position there in this volatile
industry of ours. I'm sure David will see this as the final move of his
career, he hasn't had many. In longevity terms, as long as he wins trophies
at Manchester United David Moyes will stay there."

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Bow's not ready for retirement
WHUFC.com
West Ham United fan and former midfielder Lee Bowyer reveals his plans for
the future
10.05.2013

Lee Bowyer has been keeping a low profile of late - at least since scoring
the winner at the Boleyn Ground for Ipswich Town last season. As it turns
out, the midfielder, who hails from Canning Town, declined a coaching role
or two in the summer, if only because he's not quite ready to call time on
his playing career.
The 36-year-old had long aspired to play for his boyhood club come his West
Ham United debut against last weekend's visitors Newcastle United in January
2003. Much to his anguish, it was to prove a turbulent few months as injury
and the Hammers' relegation left a decidedly bitter taste. "I think West Ham
were bottom when I arrived and things obviously weren't going well," he
recalled. "I could have stayed at Leeds or joined Newcastle but I followed
my heart. "I tried to come and help them get out of the relegation fight but
I wasn't fully fit. I came with a dodgy ankle and had to have an operation
before the end of the season, so it wasn't a particularly nice ending."

With unfinished business at the Boleyn Ground, Bowyer returned in the summer
of 2006, determined to make amends for that first painful six-month stint.
"The second spell was a much better time," he continued. "They were two
completely different scenarios. I felt like I didn't really show everyone
what I was capable of first time round. I wanted an opportunity to put
things right and hopefully I did that to some extent. "As a kid all I wanted
was to play for West Ham and I was fortunate enough to do that. I would
never change it. There aren't many players out there who get to play for the
club they supported."

Bowyer rightly predicted that last Saturday's clash with the Magpies -
another of his former clubs - would end in a draw, and the midfielder
believes West Ham can now relax and enjoy their remaining two fixtures at
Everton and at home to relegated Reading. "West Ham are safe anyway, they've
had a great season and can start planning for the next. Sam Allardyce knows
how to keep sides in the Premier League. For as long as he's there, West Ham
will be in the Premier League every year, I guarantee that."

Bowyer's own whereabouts have been something of a mystery since departing
Portman Road at the end of last term. But far from falling off the face of
football, he is still keen on getting a club for next season. "I'm doing my
coaching badges at the moment and spending time with my family. I might try
to nick another year as a player next season. I could have played this year
but it wasn't really right. Paul Jewell wanted to keep me on as a coach at
Ipswich but I wasn't quite was ready for that. "I got offered a
player-coaching role at Gillingham with Martin Allen but didn't really fancy
it either. I don't think you can be a player and a coach because when you
walk into the dressing room the players will think 'He's going to be the
teacher's pet.' I didn't want to be put in that position. "With the people
that I've worked with and played under it would be criminal not to go into
coaching. I've worked under five former England managers and learned a hell
of a lot in the game. I'm not interested in being a manager, but I'd like to
coach youngsters, perhaps U16s or U18s and guide them with my experience."

*This interview with Lee Bowyer originally appeared in Saturday's Official
Programme for the visit of Newcastle United.

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Diame scoops awards treble
WHUFC.com
West Ham United midfielder Mohamed Diame enjoyed a fruitful Awards Dinner
this week
10.05.2013

Hammer of the Year Winston Reid was not the only player to be honoured at
the Club's 2012/13 Awards Dinner this week. Mohamed Diame left the Grosvenor
House Hotel clutching a fistful of awards, having claimed three of the
supporter-voted prizes. The 25-year-old midfielder was named as Best
Signing, sponsored by Higgins Group, holding off competition from Andy
Carroll and Jussi Jaaskelainen to land that award. In addition, his
memorable strike in the 2-2 Barclays Premier League draw with Manchester
United was selected as Goal of the Season, sponsored by Carbon Neutral
Investments, but Hammers supporters. Diame's personal treble was completed
with the honour of Best Individual Performance, sponsored by Mulalley and Co
Limited, for his game-changing role in the famous 3-1 home win over Chelsea
in December. The No21 was delighted to receive such recognition for a fine
campaign. Talking to West Ham TV about his Goal of the Season, he said: "It
was very special. There was a good combination between Guy [Demel] and
Ricardo [Vaz Te] down the right and I just tried to find the right power
with the shot and it was great to see it go in. "You are always happy when
you do well in a game against a big team like Manchester United. You want to
do well every time and it was a good match for me."

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Everton v West Ham
KO 15:00
10 May 2013
Last updated at 13:38
By Alistair Mann
BBC Match of the Day commentator
BARCLAYS PREMIER LEAGUE
Venue: Goodison Park Date: Sunday, 12 May

TEAM NEWS

Everton defender Phil Neville is denied a Goodison Park swansong due to
injury as he prepares to leave the club in a playing capacity. Departing
manager David Moyes has no other injury concerns to contend with in what is
also his last home match in charge of the Toffees.

West Ham manager Sam Allardyce has no fresh injury concerns ahead of the
trip to Merseyside. Defensive duo James Tomkins and George McCartney are the
only players missing.

MATCH PREVIEW

There's unlikely to be a greater indication that Manchester United have
chosen wisely in their new appointment than the send off David Moyes is sure
to receive from the Everton fans this weekend. Fully aware of their outgoing
manager's credentials, his last appearance in the home dug out will
doubtlessly provoke feelings of gratitude and an understanding of his
decision, rather than any bitterness. Most will feel that if he did have to
end his long association with the club, then at least it has been for the
biggest job in the country. "This game could end up being a media side-show
with all eyes on Everton manager David Moyes after it was announced he will
succeed Sir Alex Ferguson at Manchester United this summer. It is his last
game in charge at Goodison Park and I think Moyes' players will want to put
on a performance for him. This is his team and a win would be a way of
saying 'thank-you and good luck in your new job'"

While a flotilla of flash bulbs will accompany his every move on Sunday,
Moyes will again demonstrate one of his most admirable qualities and remain
totally focused on events on the pitch. After all, a win against West Ham
will ensure Everton a second successive top-flight finish above Liverpool -
something they've not achieved since 1937! That would certainly be a
significant addition to Moyes' CV. In reality the match itself will feel
like a sideshow to both supporters and media alike, as questions about the
future will be much more pressing. Everton's European hopes are all but
beyond them, while the Hammers' Premier League status is guaranteed. The
main topic of debate among those occupying the Gwladys Street End therefore
will surely be about Moyes' successor, as names such as Michael Laudrup,
Roberto Martinez and even Philip Neville have been prevalent on Merseyside.
Despite the many distractions, what is for certain is that Moyes won't want
his final home game to simply fizzle out. Like each of his previous 425
Premier League games at Everton's helm, he'll demand a fully committed
performance - and the three points. Already guaranteed to end the campaign
with his fewest defeats, two more victories would also earn him his
biggest-ever points total as Everton boss. It would be a fitting way to
conclude his reign.

MATCH FACTS

Head-to-head
West Ham are without a win in nine league matches against Everton.
The Hammers have won only six of their 33 Premier League matches against the
Toffees.
And they have won just twice at Goodison Park in that time.
No side has conceded more goals in the opening 15 minutes of games than
Everton and West Ham United (both 11) this season.
This is the 126th meeting between the sides. Everton have won 62, West Ham
36 and there have been 27 draws.

Everton
Everton have drawn 15 matches this season - the most in the Premier League,
but only the two Manchester clubs have lost less than their six matches.
The Toffees have kept clean sheets in four of their last five league games.
Leighton Baines is the only outfield player to play every minute (3150) of
every league game this season.
Marouane Fellaini committed his 77th and 78th fouls of the season against
Liverpool last weekend, which is the most in the top flight.
Leon Osman has completed more dribbles (58) than any other player in the
Premier League this campaign.

West Ham
West Ham have drawn four of their last six Premier League games.
The Hammers have lost just one of their last eight Premier League home games
(W4 D3 L1), but won just one of their last eight away from Upton Park.
Andy Carroll won the same number of aerial duels (nine) as the whole
Newcastle team put together last Saturday, but the striker has hit the
target with just four of his last 19 shots on target.

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Everton v West Ham United
KUMB.com
Filed: Friday, 10th May 2013
By: Preview Percy

And as the season draws slowly to a close we find ourselves heading for our
final away match where Everton will be our hosts for a 3pm kick off on
Saturday, er Sunday, probably. Excellent.

There are various engineering works on the tube, particularly on the Central
and Met lines so if they form part of your usual trip to Euston you may want
to bear that in mind when planning your trip. Or perhaps go by car.

Our hosts look likely to miss out on a European slot this term, lying as
they do in 6th spot with 60 points from 36 matches. That leaves them 6
points behind Gareth Bale with just the two matches left to play. They've
stuttered a bit during the run in with two wins, three draws and the one
defeat in the last six. The wins both came at home to QPR (2-0) and against
Fulham (1-0). They'll be ruing not having been able to convert one of the
away draws at Bale (2-2), Arsenal (0-0) and at Liverpool (0-0) where they
were on the receiving end of the traditional generosity to the home side at
that ground when Distin had a perfectly good goal disallowed. The single
defeat came up at Sunderland (1-0).

The big news of course is that thug, bully and all-round nasty excuse of a
human being Alex Ferguson has announced his retirement from moaning. For
many years Everton boss David Moyes has been fairly high up in the frame to
replace the obnoxious one come the glorious day, and, with Moyes being
conveniently out of contract at the end of the season, the Salford mob won't
even have to go to the bother of paying compensation or even going behind
Everton's back, a tactic they use all the time with player signings. Either
way it'll be interesting to see whether Moyes is allowed to take anyone with
him along the M62 during the summer. In the meantime you can't help feeling
that Moyes is leaving a club with a bit of soul for a corporation that never
had any. It's no coincidence that the bully's departure was announced first
to the New York Stock Exchange.

Moyes' impending departure will bring focus on the more interesting question
of who will be replacing him in the summer. Swansea's Laudrup has been
mooted but a more likely punt might be Martinez at Wigan. Whelan spent all
last summer with pound signs in his eyes as first the Liverpool job then the
Spurs job became vacant. Wigan's precarious state might push things along a
bit. The down side of a Wigan relegation is that the bill for incontinence
pants here at the Avram Grant Olympic Rest Home For The Bewildered will go
through the roof. Reading, QPR and Wigan all down? Let's face it it's not
just us old 'uns who will be wetting themselves laughing.

Meanwhile at Everton they have no injury worries ahead of Moyes' penultimate
swansong. Phil Neville, inexplicably a former England international, has
effectively gone, having announced that he'll be leaving at the end of the
season. His knee injury will keep him out past the expiry of his contract.

At the back they will feature Leighton Baines, who, over the past 12 months
or so, has established himself as a credible alternative to Ashley "Nokia"
Cole. Arguably, given that Cole has been one of the most overrated players
of his time, Baines is the better option at international level.

His fellow England teammate in the back four is Phil Jagielka. The role
played by Jagielka in the disgraceful Wigan v Sheffield United match during
our Great Escape season has never been satisfactorily been examined. You
might recall that, in the event of us losing at Old Trafford, a win for
Wigan would have sent us down. At 1-1 up popped Jagielka to give away an
inexplicable penalty by sticking his hand up to palm a non dangerous cross
away. Thankfully we did our bit by getting all three points in Salford – a
draw would have done in the circumstances but the whole thing stunk to high
heaven.

Up front they've been preferring Scouse-Nigerian Victor Anichebe to one-time
Hammers target Nikica Jelavic. Anichebe it was who was supposed to have
committed the foul that resulted in what would have been the winner against
Liverpool being disallowed last weekend.

We're unlikely to be seeing ex-Hammer Thomas Hitzlsperger at the weekend,
He's made only 9 appearances in all competitions this season – and all but
four of those came from the bench. "Der Hammer" spent one injury hit season
with us before legging it so fast that he was caught speeding on the A14.
His speed would normally have been enough to have earned him a driving ban
but his brief managed to keep him on the road with the hilarious argument
that his client needed his car to look for work what with him being
unemployed and all. I'm sure that that argument works all the time for
jobseekers.

As for us, there was a distinct end of season-ness about the whole
proceedings last weekend. Hopefully Newcastle's lack of ambition up front
won't count against them in the long run – if they went down and Wigan
stayed up it'd be a pain.

Other news during the week is that Winston Reid got both the Hammer Of The
Year and the Players' version – deservedly in my opinion. He's also likely
to get the not quite as coveted Avram Grant Olympic Rest Home award once
I've remembered who I voted for. JJ getting save of the season was the most
bizarre award – you'd have thought that they'd have thrown in something
gathered by Henderson in the League Cup, if only to introduce a bit of
tension to the proceedings.

Team news is that the same lot are available for this as were about for the
Newcastle match, meaning Tomkins and Linda will both miss out. I suspect
we'll see some changes from last week's starting XI – one or two out there
looked a bit jaded to be honest. Joe Cole and Mark Noble are both looking
for starts for example.

This will be Moyes' last home match – funny how that sort of thing occurs to
us so often. It will be a difficult place to go to and win. However, I can
see us grabbing a point – especially if the emotion of the whole thing gets
too much for them. So for my penultimate prediction of the season I'll be
putting the Avram Grant Olympic Rest Home For The Bewildered's emergency
incontinence pants fund (£2.50) on us to pick up a 1-1 draw.

Enjoy the game!

When Last We Met At Goodison Park: Drew 2-2 Spector put us one up.
Bilyaletdinov equalised but then Piquionne put us 2-1 up with moments to go.
Ref Walton considered Piquionne's celebration worth a second yellow – a
disgraceful decision from a ref unaware of the laws of the game – Piquionne
did nothing wrong. The decision cost us and Fellaini equalised in stoppage
time. To cost us two points.


Referee:Mike Jones Dishonest referee who likes to influence matches by
making "correcting" decisions. See Stoke FA Cup QF a few seasons ago for an
example – a match that should have seen him arrested and jailed for fraud.
Instead Grant got fined £20,000 for suggesting that a performance like that
wasn't up to scratch. Shoot the messenger.

Danger Man:Marouane Fellaini – strangely-coiffeured but handy player also
useful at the so-called "dark arts". Some fun to be had then.

Daft Fact Of The Week: Everton used to play at Anfield but moved after an
argument with the landlord who then formed his own team, based on the
principles of match fixing, diving, biting, cheating and illegal transfer
deals. These principles have been held dear by his followers ever since. He
also invented the black armband and the condolence book, inventions that
nets his descendants millions each year from the red side of Liverpool, who
hold a minute's silence every time a bus is late.

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Everton face West Ham in final home game under David Moyes
Last Updated: May 10, 2013 12:32pm
SSN

David Moyes will take in his final home game as Everton boss on Sunday when
West Ham United travel to Goodison Park. It was announced on Thursday that
Moyes has agreed to fill the void created by Sir Alex Ferguson's imminent
retirement at Manchester United. He will, however, see out the season in his
current post, with a six-year contract at Old Trafford due to start on 1st
July. Moyes will be hoping to bow out on a high, and will be determined to
bid a fond farewell to the Goodison faithful this weekend. After 11 years on
Merseyside he has cemented legend status in the eyes of Everton supporters
and they will likely applaud him to the rafters on Sunday - win, lose or
draw. West Ham will make the journey north hoping to spoil the party, with
the capital outfit looking to wrap up a top-half finish. A run which has
brought just one defeat in seven has lifted Sam Allardyce's side into 10th
place. They may be playing for little more than pride at this late stage,
but that does not mean that they will roll over and allow Moyes to enjoy his
moment in the spotlight. The Hammers' record against the Toffees does not
bode well, though, as they have gone 10 games without a win in all
competitions and have won just twice at Goodison Park in the Premier League
era.

Everton
Last 6
0-0
1-0
1-0
0-0
2-0
2-2

As Moyes bids farewell to Everton, Phil Neville will be denied the
opportunity to make a final appearance at Goodison Park on Sunday through
injury. The Toffees' club captain, who will see his contract expire in the
summer, is nursing a knee complaint. Moyes has no other injury or suspension
concerns to contend with, so may decide to stick with the starting XI which
played out a goalless draw with arch-rivals Liverpool last time out.

West Ham
Last 6
0-0
2-1
2-0
2-2
1-1
0-0

James Tomkins is hoping to come back into contention for West Ham after
sitting out their last three games with a groin problem. Left-back George
McCartney will spend the remainder of the season on the sidelines with a
knee injury. Rob Hall, Ravel Morrison and Paul McCallum have returned to
Upton Park from their loan spells at Bolton Wanderers, Birmingham City and
Aldershot Town respectively, so may be drafted into Allardyce's plans.

Opta stats

The Toffees have been involved in more draws this season than any other
Premier League side (15).
Everton have failed to score in their last three penultimate games of the
season (2010-2012).
West Ham have lost their last Premier League away game of the season ever
since winning at Man Utd in 2007 to stay up (four successive defeats).

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Sam Allardyce to sign new contract 'early next week'
Last Updated: May 10, 2013 11:11pm
SSN

West Ham boss Sam Allardyce expects to sign a new contract with the club
early next week. Allardyce's future at Upton Park has been in question
despite his insistence over the last couple of months that he would be
signing a new deal 'very soon' after productive talks with owners David Gold
and David Sullivan.
Although that contract offer remains unsigned, Allardyce says it will
finally be completed next week after the club's final away game of the
season, at Everton on Sunday. Allardyce said: "I will be signing my contract
very shortly. Early next week will be the right time. "It's Friday today -
we are getting ready to travel on Saturday and we are concentrating on
Everton. But by early or next midweek I will be looking to put pen to paper.
"There were processes we had to go through and put it together in the right
way, which it has now. I never thought there would be any problem - and
there hasn't. "There has been some issue with the legal jargon in the
contract which I couldn't understand so that has to go to both sides lawyers
to agree and then it gets signed. The size of a manager's contract is pretty
substantial in terms of responsibilities."

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Sam Allardyce backs David Moyes to cope during Everton's game with West Ham
Last Updated: May 10, 2013 3:57pm
SSN

West Ham manager Sam Allardyce thinks David Moyes will have no trouble
keeping the lid on his emotions when the Hammers visit Goodison Park on
Sunday.
The match will be the Scot's last home game in charge of Everton ahead of
his summer switch to Manchester United to replace Sir Alex Ferguson as boss.
Allardyce, who used to coach Moyes at Preston, said: "It will be the last
game at home for David as manager so it will be an emotional affair for him,
but I'm sure, knowing David as I do, that he will be able to control and
calm his emotions and do his very best to get the team to win. "I don't
expect any favours whatsoever and I hope the crowd appreciate what he has
done and that they show their appreciation. "I think David Moyes is the
perfect candidate for Manchester United. "He will bring the same sort of
stability and he will try and emulate what Sir Alex Ferguson has done. It
will be the hardest job he has ever faced. "It's an enormous move for him
and his career then has gone to the next level, but I don't think anyone can
do anything other than applaud him for what he has done for Everton over the
last 11 years."

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Nailed on: West Ham's Sam Allardyce says he will sign his new contract
within days
10 May 2013 22:30
The Mirror

Sam Allardyce says he will finally sort out his West Ham future next week.
Allardyce's reign at Upton Park has been up in the air all season, with his
current deal expiring this summer. But, after guiding the Hammers to
mid-table safety on their first season back in the Premier League, Big Sam
will be rewarded with a three-year contract. He said: "We will be putting
pen to paper next week and I am looking forward to it. "I never thought
there would be a problem and there hasn't been. It's been about this
get-safe scenario." Allardyce wants to celebrate his new deal by playing
party-pooper at David Moyes' Goodison Park farewell on Sunday. He added: "If
there's a bit of easing off then we'll want to take advantage of that. It's
a difficult situation but not for us because we are there to try to win some
points." Allardyce first met Moyes in 1993 when he was a coach at Preston
and the Scot was nearing the end of his playing career. He said: "It will be
an emotional affair for him, but I'm sure, knowing David as I do, that he
will be able to control and calm his emotions and do his very best to get
the team to win."

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