Daily WHUFC News - 6th September 2013

RCD Espanyol 0-1 West Ham United FT
Mark Noble's penalty gave West Ham United 1-0 win over RCD Espanyol
05.09.2013
WHUFC.com

RCD ESPANYOL v WEST HAM UNITED
CIUTAT DE BARCELONA TROPHY - MEMORIAL FERNANDO LARA
ESTADI CORNELLA-EL PRAT
THURSDAY 5 SEPTEMBER 2013
KICK-OFF: 9PM LOCAL TIME (8PM UK)
REFEREE: ALFONS ALVAREZ IZQUIERDO

Full time: RCD Espanyol 0-1 West Ham United

90+4 mins: A great victory for the Hammers in their match with Spanish
Primera Division side RCD Espanyol tonight. Mark Noble's penalty made the
difference, and Ravel Morrison was a lively presence in midfield. The night
was also notable for West Ham ending the game with seven Academy graduates
on the pitch, who held their own against difficult opposition. The visitors
can take a lot from this contest.
90 mins: Into stoppage time we go.
86 mins: Centre back Sidnei makes his way forward into the box and pokes a
shot wide. The game has drifted somewhat in the last 10 minutes though,
which will suit the Hammers.
83 mins: The Espanyol fans behind the left-hand goal have been amusing
themselves for much of this half, by taking themselves up and down the
length of the stand en masse. They've not had much to cheer on the pitch,
and now Lee tries his luck with a swirling shot from range that the keeper
tips around the post.
81 mins: Whistles from the home support as they demand a penalty, but
Fanimo's challenge on Mattioni is a perfectly fair one - they won't get a
spot kick for that.
79 mins: Morrison has looked like West Ham's most threatening player tonight
and he makes another inclsive run towards the Espanyol box before laying off
for Moncur. It comes to nothing, but another moment of promise from the
Hammers youngster.
78 mins: Both teams make another change, Elliot Lee is on for West Ham,
replacing Maiga, while Javi Lopez is on for Espanyol's Thievy.
77 mins: Victor lines up a shot for the hosts from range following a
half-cleared corner, but that smacks of desperation to be honest as it
drifts harmlessly wide.
75 mins: Not a huge amount to report right now. Espanyol are seeing most of
the ball, but West Ham's young side are doing a good job defensively at the
moment. Quite a slow tempo to the game as well.
71 mins: Time for another Hammers change, and it's time for another Academy
graduate to make his entrance. Seb Lletget is on for Jarvis.
65 mins: The Hammers team is full of Academy graduates right now - the
entire back four of Driver, Tomkins, Ruddock and Fanimo have come through
the ranks. While Moncur is also a youth product and in midfield. A great
showcase for the Academy of Football.
62 mins: West Ham make their first changes of the evening. Moncur, Driver
and Fanimo are the men on. Demel, Nolan and Noble have ran their race this
evening. Espanyol have als brought Simao and Victor on in the meantime.
59 mins: It's West Ham's turn to threaten now, and Maiga gets on the end of
Jarvis' left wing cross, but the defender Raul does enough to get a
half-block in and let the ball dribble through to his keeper.
57 mins: Espanyol are beginning to pile on the pressure now and Lanza is
allowed to virtually walk into the box from his station on the right. The
Hammers seem reluctant to tackle, but the ball is cleared out to full back
Mattioni, whose volley is wayward.
55 mins: Good save Adrian! Morrison has his pocket picked on the edge of the
box, giving Abraham the opportunity to make up for his first half concession
of the penalty. He shoots low and left footed from the edge of the box, but
Adrian gets down really well to make the save and push it behind for a
corner.
52 mins: The chances really are flowing at the start of this second period,
and half-time sub Alex looks set to level, before Tomkins throws himself in
front of the ball to make a loopy block, with strikes the woodwork as Adrian
scrambles back. The keeper probably had that covered, but still too close to
comfort for the Hammers.s
51 mins: You know what I was saying about it being end-to-end? Well,
goalkeeper German launches it long from the goal kick, and suddenly Pizzi
finds himself making a run between the centre halves and in on goal. The
ball just seems to be running away from him though, and he has to stretch as
he tries to poke over Adrian, with the shot dribbling wide.
50 mins: It's end-to-end stuff at the start of this second half and West Ham
have another corner, which Jarvis whips in from the left and Vaz Te rises to
meet with a header which flies wide. Referee Alvarez had already spotted an
infringement however, and awards the home team another end.
49 mins: Play quickly switches to the other end and Lanza shows a good turn
of pace as he sprints into the area over in the right channel. Ruddock does
well to keep up with him and force him to shoot wide of the near post as the
angles tighten.
47 mins: Good effort from Taylor which brings a decent diving save from
German there. Taylor advanced well from left back to get that shot away and
did about as well as he could from that range.

9.01pm We're back underway for the second half and both Alex and Clerc are
on for the hosts. Fuentes and Garcia the men to make way.
8.47pm Half time and the Hammers lead. Espanyol had the better of the early
exchanges and struck the post through Lanza, but West Ham came back into it
towards the end of the half and moved in front from Mark Noble's penalty
after an Abraham handball. Join us in 15 minutes for the second half.

45+1 mins: Espanyol look for a quick response and Lanza whips in a dangerous
cross from the right, but Ruddock does well to get his head to it and
Morrison completes the clearance.
43 mins: GOAL! West Ham have been looking more threatening in the last five
minutes and they've taken the lead right on half time! Referee Alfons
Alvarez points to the spot after midfielder Abraham slides in trying to
block Jarvis' cross and blocks with his arm. Noble steps up and sends the
ball to the right as German dives the opposite way. 1-0 to the visitors!
41 mins: A great bit of individual trickery from Morrison gets him past a
couple of challenges and quickly staring at the whites of goalkeeper
German's eyes. His first shot is from a tight angle and German saves, the
second is from even tighter, and another save sees West Ham win a corner.
38 mins: Vaz Te wins a corner, but is off the pitch receiving treatment when
it gets taken. Nolan's delivery is cleared, but then Morrison has a chance
to run outside the box and his shot is deflected behind for another. Jarvis
takes this one, and Tomkins rises to head goalwards, but German is there to
save.
35 mins: We have a break in play whilst a steward receives treatment by the
touchline. Not entirely sure what happened there, but we're back underway
now.
32 mins: The Hammers have a corner, but Noble can't bring the ball under his
spell after Jarvis' delivery is cleared. Espanyol nip in to take possession
and they break quickly on the visitors, with Thievy looking to streak clear.
Luckily, Adrian is alert to the danger and sprints off his line to slide in
and clear.
30 mins: Good battling back from Morrison to retrieve the ball after he had
initially given it away near his own box. He passes to Jarvis, who in turn
feeds Taylor to make the clearance.
28 mins: Better from West Ham as they fashion an attack down the left. Nolan
plays a one-two of sorts off the defender when, trying to cross, the ball
rebounds to him and the skipper takes on an instant shot which flies high
and wide.
26 mins: Kevin Nolan is penalised, harshly it looks, for a foul of Thievy
just outside the box, and Espanyol go desperately close from the free-kick,
as Lanza's left-footed effort cannons against the near post with Adrian
struggling to get across his goal. The home side are getting closer.
21 mins: Thievy is proving to be a tricky customer right now, and his run
takes him across the face of the area, before he lays off to Pizzi, whose
shot is wasteful and over the bar. A bit of a let off for West Ham there.
Meanwhile, the stadium breaks into applause to remember Dani Jarque, the
Espanyol defender who tragically died of a heart attack at the age of 26 in
2009.
20 mins: Not to be outdone, the Hammers fans in the corner have unleashed a
number of claret and blue balloons. There's certainly a bit of colour inside
the stadium.
19 mins: The crowd may be fairly sparse inside the 40,500-seater Estadi
Cornella-El Prat, but those inside are making their fair share of noise.
There are a group oof fans behind the goal the Hammers are attacking waving
their flags in unison, and they're joined by a similar group over in the
near corner.
17 mins: Matt Jarvis looks to use his speed down the left and seems to have
got away from the centre half Sidnei who has comr cross to try and stop the
Hammers man. However, he is knocked down and referee Alvarez awards a free
kick. West Ham opt to play it short, working it across to the other flank,
but eventually losing possession to a goal kick.
14 mins: First real moment of danger for the Hammers as Espanyol find
themselves two-on-two in the left channel. Pizzi makes the run with the ball
and waits for Thievy to peel off before finding him just inside the area.
The home attacker sidesteps Ruddock and takes the shot on from 15 yards, but
Tomkins flies across in time to make the block. 0-0.
12 mins: Mark Noble makes a penetrating run in off the right flank, beating
the first man and drawing a foul 22 yards out. Decent shooting opportunity,
but Taylor's effort thuds into the wall and Espanyol hack away to safety. In
fact, they have a dangerous break on, but Adrian comes off his line well to
avert the danger.
9 mins: West Ham now have the chance to attack down the left and Matt Jarvis
and Taylor work the ball to engineer a crossing opportunity for the former,
but his ball drifts into goalkeeper German's hands.
6 mins: Youngster Pelly Ruddock is given a chance to shine in the heart of
the Hammers defence tonight, alongside James Collins. Ruddock tries to play
a backpass to Adrian, back playing in his home country, and although the
pass is slightly overhit, Adrian does well to only concede a throw in. The
Hammers clear and are now back in possession.
4 mins: The small band of Hammers fans away to our right are making
themselves heard with a rendition of Bubbles. We spoke to a few of them
before the game for West Ham TV and found plenty of Barcelona-based Hammers.
Great to see them supporting their team so close to home.
3 mins It has been a fairly slow start to the action here in Barcelona.
Kevin Nolan tries to slip Ricardo Vaz Te in down the right, but the pass has
too much weight on it and runs out for a goal kick.

8.00pm After a false start, Matt Jarvis and Ravel Morrison get us underway.
Come on you Irons!
7.57pm The teams are out on the pitch and it's almost time for kick-off!
Watch live on West Ham TV!
7.50pm The teams are playing for the Ciutat de Barcelona - Fernando Lara
Trophy tonight, a game that's normally played in pre-season but has moved to
the international break this year. An English team has never triumphed in
this match, with Liverpool the last participants in 2009, when they lost 3-0
to the hosts Espanyol.
7.45pm Kick-off is now only 15 minutes away and the team news is in.
West Ham United: Adrian; Demel, Tomkins, Ruddock, Taylor; Nolan, Noble,
Morrison; Vaz Te, Maiga, Jarvis
Subs: Jaaskelainen, Lee, Moncur, Lletget, Driver, Fanimo
RCD Espanyol: German, Mattioni, Raul, Sidnei, Thievy, Garcia, Pizzi, Lanza,
D.Lopez, Fuentes, Abraham
Subs: Pau, Victor, Teiera, J.Lopez, Colotto, Simao, Alex, Clerc
7.05pm A very warm welcome to you from the Estadi Cornella El-Prat,
Barcelona!
We're in position for tonight's friendly game between RCD Espanyol and West
Ham United, which is being screen live on West Ham TV.
The Hammers have travelled to Spain for a competitive test against
top-flight Spanish opposition during the international break, keen to put
Saturday's 1-0 loss to Stoke City behind them.
Espanyol have enjoyed a strong start to their season, having taken five
points from their opening three games, and Javier Aguirre's side are sure to
provide a stern test.
We'll have team news very shortly.

West Ham United: Adrian; Demel, Tomkins, Ruddock, Taylor; Nolan, Noble,
Morrison; Vaz Te, Maiga, Jarvis
Subs: Jaaskelainen, Lee, Moncur, Lletget, Driver, Fanimo

RCD Espanyol: German, Mattioni, Raul, Sidnei, Thievy, Garcia, Pizzi, Lanza,
D.Lopez, Fuentes, Abraham
Subs: Pau, Victor, Teiera, J.Lopez, Colotto, Simao, Alex, Clerc

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Collins scoops Player of the Month
WHUFC.com
Central defender James Collins is the season's first Player of the Month
05.09.2013

James Collins has collected the first West Ham United Player of the Month
award for his performances in August. The centre back scooped 44.4% of the
fan vote on whufc.com, beating Ravel Morrison (22.8%) and Winston Reid
(16.8%) into third. It was a good month defensively for the Hammers, and
Collins was an integral part of that, helping Sam Allardyce's men register
clean sheets against Cardiff City and Newcastle United in their opening two
Barclays Premier League games. The shut-outs provided the base for West Ham
to collect four points from those fixtures, and their defensive solidity was
in evidence again even in defeat to Stoke City, with the only goal of the
game coming from a stunning Jermaine Pennant free-kick, Collins has provided
a strong presence at the back, alongside Reid, Guy Demel and Joey O'Brien in
a settled back four and the Welshman has taken the accolade. Second-placed
Morrison also enjoyed a super August, making his Premier League debut, and
starting for the first time in Hammers colours against Cheltenham Town in
the Capital One Cup - a game which also brought the youngster a goal.

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Colchester United 0-3 Dev Squad FT
WHUFC.com
Nick Haycock's side cruised to friendly victory over Colchester United on
Thursday evening
05.09.2013

Goals from Reece Burke, Danny Whitehead and Dylan Tombides were enough to
give the Development Squad victory over Colchester United in a hard-fought
game on Thursday evening. On a night when some of Nick Haycock's regulars
were with the first team taking on RCD Espanyol in Barcelona, some
unfamiliar faces showed they could still do the business. Burke set the ball
rolling for the Hammers after 36 minutes, heading home from close range
after a Sean Maguire shot cannoned off the bar. Tombides added a second with
his first touch of the game moments after coming on as a substitute before
Whitehead put the game to bed with a well-struck effort from long range. The
game gave some valuable playing time to those keen to impress Haycock ahead
of the Development Squad's next match against Manchester City in the
Barclays U21 Premier League on Friday 13 September. The match at the Weston
Homes Community Stadium started at a fierce pace, with both sides eager to
retain possession and move the ball around on a slick surface. Few chances
were created early on before the game was sparked into life by Josh Cullen,
who latched on to Blair Turgott's pass and lobbed the on-rushing keeper but
could only watch as his effort struck the post after 18 minutes. Colchester,
stung into action by Cullen's close shave, should have been in front when
Ryan Melaugh scuffed his shot straight at Vit Nemvara after finding himself
clean through.

Melaugh was at the centre of things once again moments later as he thought
he had given the home side the lead, but a look over to the linesman
revealed his close-range effort was taken from an offside position. The
Hammers made Melaugh pay when Burke nodded home from six yards on 36 minutes
following Maguire's acrobatic effort, which rebounded off the crossbar.
After the interval the game was equally well contested, with few clear cut
opportunities until a moment of quality from substitute Tombides lit up the
game with 22 minutes remaining. The Australian, who had only been on for one
minute, showed great skill and composure to chip the 'keeper with his first
touch, having latched onto a through ball. The Hammers were comfortable
moments later when Whitehead, picking the ball up in midfield, advanced
toward goal and drilled his shot into the bottom corner. Kieran Sadlier
might have made it four before the end but could only hit his shot straight
at the goalkeeper as Haycock's team secured a well-deserved victory
.
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Espanyol 0-1 West Ham Utd
KUMB.com
Filed: Thursday, 5th September 2013
By: Staff Writer

A Mark Noble penalty on the stroke of half time was enough to earn West Ham
a morale-boosting win against Espanyol in Spain tonight. With so few players
involved in international duty this week, Sam Allardyce took the bulk of his
first team squad to Spain for tonight's friendly. And he will have been
delighted to see his team respond positively to last weekend's dismal defeat
against Stoke with a strong performance. Whereas West Ham failed to muster
a single shot on target against the Potters at the Boleyn Ground, shots on
goal rained down on Espanyol 'keeper German tonight - even if Noble's spot
kick was the only one to find the back of the net. At the core of much of
West Ham's forward play was youngster Ravel Morrison, who once again
produced the sort of performance that's beginning to give Allardyce
something of a selection headache. One particular run in the first half,
during which he weaved his way past five opponents before his shot was
smothered by the 'keeper had shades of Diego Maradona's wonder goal against
Belgium in 1986. Morrison was ably assisted in the final third by Matt
Jarvis, who delivered a series of testing crosses from the left and also won
the 43rd minute match-winning penalty when his low centre was handled by
defender Abraham. As has been the case all season, the Hammers were resolute
in defence with James Tomkins marshalling the back four superbly. Only once
did the home side genuinely threaten to breach United's rearguard, when
Lanza's dipping, curling 26th free-kick rattled Adrian's left-hand post.
Allardyce now has nine days to prepare his squad for the trip to St Mary's
where they will do battle with Southampton. However the news on Andy
Carroll, who it was hoped would return for the game is not good, with some
reports claiming he'll be out of action until October.

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Fair play? You must be joking, Michel!
KUMB.com
Filed: Thursday, 5th September 2013
By: Paul Walker

Now the dust has settled on the transfer window, we can start looking for
who to blame for the shambles of the final day of deals as far as West Ham
are concerned.

Frankly, what is very clear is that the last thing the new financial fair
play regulations are is fair. Now we have seen them in operation they are
just a way for the big clubs to be allowed to maintain their superiority
over the rest of us great unwashed. Thanks Michel Platini, you have played a
blinder for your rich mates at the super clubs of Europe.

And our owners must also take some of the flak. I don't blame them for what
was a miserable day for Hammers fans on the Sky Sports transfer window, they
seem to be the only people who enjoy the carnage.

The Davids and Big Sam did not start the day intent on such failure, I don't
doubt for a minute that they tried their very best to sign a new striker.
They failed because we are not able to pay the big wages that a top star
warrants, while potential targets no doubt wanted European football. And
potential signings could have been put off by it being made pretty clear
that they were only going to be playing second fiddle to Andy Carroll.

We also spent too much time on potential lost causes like Duvan Zapata, the
young Columbian striker. He had no caps but somehow we felt we could get him
a work permit. Whoever was advising us on that legal point, surely got it
wrong.

You only had to Google the lad's name to find out what a flimsy case for a
permit there was. We have a Government now with a much tougher immigration
policy, so there seemed little room for leniency. Now he's at Napoli, where
the Italians do not have such permit problems. Then there was a unknown
striker from Honduras, and an African who also fell way short of getting a
work permit.

Apart from the last couple of weeks of the transfer window, we had done
pretty well. Sam had acquired a top England striker, another England winger,
Romania's captain with 90 caps and a very decent young goalkeeper from
Spain.

We also have a 'new' midfielder in Ravel Morrison, who managed one
substitute appearance in our promotion season before being shipped off on
loan to Birmingham, having clearly got on the wrong side of just about
everybody. I really, really want this kid to make it with us.

I know plenty of Manchester United fans who were horrified when their club
lost patience with his behaviour and bombed him out. He has been called the
'new' Paul Scholes, so the talent is there even if the temperament has been
lacking. I just hope he continues with the new attitude.

Watching the final day of the transfer window on TV was painful. A stream of
mid-range strikers seemed to be heading to all clubs, but not ours. Then we
had Carlton Cole back, before he proved to be not quite as fighting fit as
everyone thought be would.

He left because West Ham clearly wanted to reduce his wages with their new
contract offer. The fact that he has long-standing wear and tear injuries no
doubt prompted that approach. They were not going to offer him £50,000 to
sit on the bench, knowing he was going to need careful nursing - like last
season - to get him through matches.

Now the scenario is a bit different. Cole hadn't been able to find a new
club, here or in France or Turkey, and may well have to settle for something
less than he was being offered by West Ham in the first place. A lot of
things have been said on both sides, but it's best now that everybody moves
on.

As for fair play, well there's plenty to be said. And there is no point in
David Gold or David Sullivan moaning about how they were being restricted in
what they could offer for wages. Transfer fees have nothing to do with this.

Gold and Sullivan were very vocal in support of the new regulations, I
recall seeing Gold standing on a London pavement doing a TV interview
supporting FFP.

They wanted to cut players wages. Frankly all managements are the same.
Reducing the wage bill and boosting productivity at the same time is the
best way to make money. I recall them claiming one of their best
achievements was leaving Birmingham City with no-one earning more than
£30,000 a week. Yep, and look where they are now.

I do not disagree with paying big money to Carroll, or going for Stewart
Downing. He was available and better than what we had, and Sam needed to act
quickly. What needed to happen was for a few fringe players to be sold or
released to free-up enough of the wage budget to fund a new striker within
the regulations. Easier said than done, obviously, and getting up Ricardo
Vaz Te's nose was not the best way either.

But we have still got Mo Diame, and the young local boys, Mark Noble, James
Tomkins - always linked with Newcastle - and Jack Collison, are still here.

Our owners were trying to work within new rules that few other clubs seemed
to be complaining too much about. The £52million cap was not just applied to
us, but to a bulk of mid-range clubs who did not spend that figure last
season.

They were able to add £4million to that budget. Promoted clubs like Cardiff
had wage budgets vastly smaller in the Championship, so that is why it looks
as if they are spending what they want. They were so far from the £52million
cap their leeway is miles bigger than ours.

But the bigger clubs are already finding ways around all this with massive
sponsorship cash that can be converted to wages and the fact that what they
spent last season, they could do again.

So Manchester City can spend £100million on four top players, Chelsea
likewise. The rest of the big clubs were not handicapped, so they can always
maintain the gap between themselves and the rest.

Rich owners can still operate at the top end of the market. But nobody can
now challenge them because of FFP. No more, it seems, can a rich Russian,
Arab or Lancashire steel magnate for that matter, throw money at their club
and buy whoever they want .

Our own Martin Samuels, in the Daily Mail, has been beating on about this
for a while now. As has David Conn from the Guardian. Both have managed
in-depth interviews with Platini, and he refuses to see - or care it seems -
that he has created a world where aspiring clubs cannot challenge the high
and mighty.

He claims it is for their own good, to keep them in business. But I do not
want to see UEFA - these rules only apply in Europe - being the policeman of
football finances. I want UEFA to provide the mechanism for clubs and
countries to play football in an efficient framework, not to tell people how
they spend their money.

Football is like any other industry in a capitalist society. You make your
own decisions about finance, and if you make a mess of it, you go out of
business. That's how life is for every other industry, if you want a
different society then that's a whole new argument.

We could have gone out of business ourselves after the Icelandic
mismanagement, and if that had happened we would have re-formed and returned
lower down the divisions and I doubt few apart from us, would have shed a
tear. Sad, but that's the way it is. Very, very few clubs go to the wall and
never come back. Platini's rules are robbing smaller clubs of their dreams.

The top flight now has half a dozen clubs buying astonishingly expensive
players, and I fear there could be a few more of the eight-goal thrashings
Chelsea handed out to Aston Villa last season. I have spent this summer
feeling very divorced from the game because I am just watching from the
outside as Europe's giants step even further away from the rest.

Clubs should be free to make their own decisions and live and die by the
consequences. Just look at the Conference and clubs lower down. It is full
of outfits who have gone bust, reformed and come back under a slightly
different name. Stockport County, for instance, are now playing in the
Conference North. Halifax, Boston, and Chester have gone the same way and
are fighting their way back.

I blame Gold and Sullivan for actively backing these regulations, although I
do sense that we have taken a very severe line on what is and is not
allowed. But I blame Platini more, because I smell self-interest here.

Of course he denies it, but Platini came to power when French club football
was poor, weak financially and all their best players were playing elsewhere
in Europe. You sensed with Platini's barely disguised dislike of English
football, that he somehow wanted to change that.

Now we have regulations that are allowing Paris Saint-Germain and Monaco to
spend like there is no tomorrow. Platini disliked rich Arabs buying into
clubs, but PSG are now funded by Qatar, seemingly with his blessing. Monaco
still have, despite the French League's dislike, a very unfair tax advantage
over everyone else. Basically you don't pay tax in Monte Carlo.

Platini also voted for Qatar to have the World Cup Finals, despite all logic
saying it is not possible to hold the finals there.

He is also a mate of former French president Nicolas Sarkozy, who is a big
fan of PSG. Sarkozy wanted the Qatar takeover of his club, and while Platini
objects to Manchester City and the like, PSG seem to get what they want. And
, of course, we have the unedifying spectacle of Platini's lawyer son
Laurent - once employed by PSG - now working for Qatar. Sometimes you cannot
make these things up.

Exactly how we produce a club under these regulations that can compete with
Europe's best, as the Davids seem to want, when we go to the Olympic
Stadium, I fail to see.

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Carlton Cole's hopes of West Ham return dashed as striker fails to prove
fitness
5 Sep 2013 13:32
The Mirror
Mark Thompson

Free agent Carlton Cole failed to prove his fitness to West Ham United
during a spell with the club this week, a club source has revealed. The
striker, who was released by the Hammers this summer after failing to agree
terms on a new contract, had been tipped for a return after a dramatic
u-turn by the club. But a tweet sent by Jack Sullivan, the son of
joint-chairman David, suggests Cole's hopes of an Upton Park return may have
been dashed. "Cole is not fit enough to offer a contract to," revealed
Sullivan. "But he's thinking over getting fit with us and improving his
fitness."

Cole is not fit enough to offer a contract to. But he's thinking over
getting fit with us and improving his fitness. #COYI #WHU #WHUFC . — Jack
Sullivan (@jsullivanwhu) September 4, 2013

Sullivan also admitted that the club remain in the market for other free
agents after a disappointing deadline day: "We are also looking at other non
contract players."

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Football clichés: the 10 stages of a protracted transfer saga
From the 'hands-off' warning to the parade, via the bid and the negotiation,
every deal of the silly season must tick these boxes
The Guardian

Despite some weary protestations, the media absolutely adore a protracted
transfer saga. The newspapers chart a player's on-off move, Twitter provides
up-to-the-minute updates, and the increasingly bloodthirsty Sky Sports News
plonk a poor reporter in front of either clubs' training ground at 11pm,
hoping for a scoop.

The advent of the January transfer window should mean that a protracted
transfer saga (henceforth referred to as a PTS) can now only really take
place in the summer months. Several clubs and players are then unwittingly
forced to do battle for the dubious and unofficial honour of PTS of the
Summer.

Of course, the Bosman ruling has ensured a theoretical exception – moves can
now have a lengthy prologue that involves the thrashing out of personal
terms between player and prospective new employers, without the need for a
pesky transfer fee. Now, while these negotiations can go on a bit, a PTS
without drawn-out haggling over the transfer fee is simply not a PTS at all.

Gareth Bale, star of the Protracted Transfer Saga of the Year, sits proudly
in the centre of this Venn diagram of the transfer window.
Football clichés venn diagram Football clichés venn diagram Photograph:
theguardian.com
Years of study into the annual phenomenon of the PTS can now be concluded
definitively, in The Ten Chapters of a Protracted Transfer Saga:

Chapter I – The Honeytrap

A player reportedly begins to attract interest from several clubs and it
emerges that there's no shortage of suitors. If the target is considered
good enough in these early stages, this elite group of clubs will
automatically include Chelsea, Manchester City, Arsenal and Manchester
United, all of whom will supposedly be mulling over a bid. This, I'm sure
you will agree, is a very cunning way for the as-yet relatively uninformed
media to hedge their bets for the outcome of an embryonic PTS.

Chapter II – The Montage Magnifier

Once a player's marketability has been established, the football industry
has an unspoken and unwritten agreement with its broadcasters. The terms of
this deal mean that, when appropriate, the player in question will be the
subject of a post-highlights video montage on Match of the Day.

Alan Hansen, or whoever his co-pundit may be that night, will analyse fairly
unspectacular footage of the player's performance, concluding with the claim
that the player has "a bright future". If the player is a defender, for
example, several clips of him making routine interceptions will be
interpreted as early signs of a superstar in the making.

A similar pact exists with Sky Sports. In this case, the player will receive
the full attention of the ever-eager Jamie Redknapp (who has emerged as a
useful marketing tool in these early stages of the PTS) during the course of
the pre-match warm-up. Complete with helpful stats at the bottom of the
screen, it is a spectacle that PTS experts describe as akin to watching
kitchenware being hawked on QVC.

Chapter III – The "Hands-Off" Warning

Never be fooled by its dismissive nature - the "hands-off" warning signals a
gear-change for the PTS which, in hindsight, proves to be the beginning of
the (albeit distant) end. A stalwart of the football vernacular, the
"hands-off" warning is invariably issued by the player's manager.
Unequivocal in his defiance, the naive boss tells the media:

"We've had no bids for [Player X] and, to be honest, we wouldn't welcome
any. We're not in a position where we need to sell players and it would take
silly money for him to leave this football club."

The manager is careful not to specify an exact hypothetical figure for this
"silly money", because to do so would constitute slapping a price tag on the
player, hastening his departure considerably.

Unfortunately, the "hands-off" warning is inevitably subject to Isaac
Newton's Third Law of Motion: for every action there is an equal – but
opposite – reaction, which in this case can be found lurking in Chapter VI.

Chapter IV – The Loyalty Pledge

Having obtained the manager's inadvertent assurance that the player will be
leaving, the media then hunt down a statement from the player themselves.
Influenced no doubt by their agent and, more heavily, by thousands of
similar player statements in the past, the in-demand ace will, very
probably, utter the following:

"I'm happy to stay at the club. I'm flattered by the interest, but it's all
speculation. I'm a [Club X] player until told otherwise."

A sigh of relief for the fans, then, but this statement still leaves open
all possibilities. Again, a PTS veteran should interpret this as a warning
sign for the acceleration of the eventual deal – all pledges of loyalty are
at risk of dramatic U-turns.

Chapter V – The Bid

Finally, contact is made and a bid lodged. At this stage, it is not uncommon
for the bidding club to remain officially anonymous, but not essential. One
near-guarantee is the reaction of the manager (and often the chairman) of
the player's club – the bid will almost always be dismissed as "derisory".

One of those words that you strongly sense those involved in football only
know because of its use by those involved in football, "derisory" is the
put-down of choice when it comes to opening bids. It also serves as a minor
ego-boost for the smaller clubs, as a rare opportunity to look down their
noses at the big boys.

Chapter VI – The "Come-And-Get-Me" Plea

As outlined in Chapter III, the "hands-off" warning has an evil twin. It
arrives in the form of the "come-and-get-me" plea. An even more
awkardly-named cliché, the "come-and-get-me" plea is the clear declaration
from the player that, after the derisory opening bid, he now wants to leave
the club, despite his earlier pledge of loyalty.

Perhaps rather a tabloid device, it's often a precursor for slapping in a
written transfer request – verbal, emailed, texted, tweeted or
carrier-pigeoned transfer requests are, regrettably, few and far between.
While the bid rejection succeeds in at least stalling the inevitable, the
club's reaction to their player's request to leave matters not a jot. For
the record, though, the written transfer request is turned down.

In extreme cases, the selling club (for that is what they will surely be)
banishes the player to train with the reserves or the youth team, an fate
universally known as being "frozen out".

After this spectacular act of face-spite-induced nose removal, the club then
prepares itself for the player's departure. Such a decision may indicate
that the chairman/manager is a learned student of the PTS, and recognises
that resistance is futile.

As a side note, it must be added that this is a precarious, pivotal stage
for the player. If they get injured and the deal collapses, the already
frozen-out player will find themselves in the terrifying-sounding transfer
limbo. The only viable way of escaping transfer limbo is to humbly withdraw
the written transfer request request and knuckle down once more.

Chapter VII – The Negotiation

Now the two clubs are finally in dialogue over a possible deal (this may
involve one or two further bids, which would be immune from the label
derisory), the PTS would appear to be in full swing.
Football clichés: charting the progress of transfer talks Football clichés:
charting the progress of transfer talks. Photograph: theguardian.com
The two clubs must progress from low-level talks to advanced talks, at which
point they become locked in talks.

It may then emerge that both parties are miles apart over the size of the
fee, which constitutes a delay formally known as an impasse. As with any
true saga, a potential twist is always on the horizon. It is at the impasse
stage that the media begin to meddle. Reports of bid hijacks are rife, as
other clubs are drawn in to the melee. Whether such interventions
materialise is an unpredictable matter, but Sky Sports News remain on red
alert anyway.

Chapter VIII – Personal Terms

With the fee agreed, the player is then liberated to discuss personal terms.
Sky Sports News' persistence pays off, and a video of the player leaving the
training ground in his car is looped endlessly. Despite this modern era of
the greedy footballer, personal terms are still widely regarded as a
formality, unless they prove to be a stumbling block.

The same also usually applies to the medical that the player must undergo.
At this stage, the deal can be sealed – pending any unexpected,
miscellaneous snag.

Chapter IX – The Parade

At a press conference, the player is at last unveiled (although unveiling is
more often associated with new managers) and subsequently paraded. The
absence of any veils or marching bands does little to take away from these
events, and the new signing's ability to juggle a ball or hold up a replica
shirt the right way round are given a severe test.

It is usually the first opportunity for the player to break his silence
about the transfer, and the tried-and-tested statement is always worth the
wait:

"I'm delighted to be here. As soon as I heard of [Club X's] interest, there
was only one place I wanted to go. This is a massive club."

More brazen new signings go one step further and shamelessly try to profess
boyhood support for their new club. Other variations include a player who
has signed for a Championship club (particularly if he has left the
top-flight to do so) describing his new employers as having "everything
geared towards Premier League football". This is a curious statement which
seems to ignore the fact that the reason that the club looks like it is
geared towards Premier League football is because it once was in the Premier
League, but got relegated in pitiful fashion, crippled by debt and lumbered
with a half-empty, albeit pristine, Lego stadium.

Chapter X – "It Was Always In the Script, Wasn't It?"

The PTS reaches its conclusion (for strikers at least) with the player's
return for a match against his previous club. Depending on how acrimonious
his departure was, the player will be sought out pre-match to comment on the
reception he may face on the day. In the history of the PTS, however, no
player has ever expressed slight concern at the reception he may face on the
day.

Anyway, egged on by script-wielding commentators, the player inevitably will
get on the scoresheet on his return to his old stomping ground.

This is, of course, followed by the melodramatic,
look-at-me-aren't-I-honourable übercliché that is the muted celebration, a
nice touch designed to impress the sort of emotional knife-edge fans that
bring A4-size banners to football matches.

Finally, the whole dreadful story draws to a close but at what point during
its evolution does a PTS become recognised as such? A protracted transfer
arguably emerges at Chapter V, when the stand-off over a rejected bid
threatens to hold up the process. It's not enough to warrant being called a
"saga", however; that requires Chapter VI - the point at which everyone
genuinely starts to get a bit fed up.

Epic stuff indeed, but don't get too comfortable – the managerial sack race
now begins in earnest.

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