Thursday, January 18

Daily WHUFC News - 19th January 2018

Reece Burke recalls his battling Premier League debut
WHUFC.com

The scorer of the winning goal in Tuesday's FA Cup replay, Reece Burke,
explains why a hostile London derby against QPR made for a day he'll never
forget...

The build-up

Almost 16 months had passed since Reece Burke had made his first team debut,
aged 17, in an FA Cup tie at Nottingham Forest. Though the result was not
one to remember for the centre-back and other young players who were
introduced to Hammers fans that day, the boyhood West Ham supporter would no
doubt treasure the afternoon he pulled on the Claret and Blue for the first
time. Now for the league debut, the youngster must have thought. But Burke
was forced to bide his time, get his head down and continue to work hard in
the development side in which he was making great strides forward. The
following summer was fruitful for the defender, too. Burke travelled to New
Zealand with the first team for their pre-season tour, before returning to
the UK to score the winner in a 3-2 victory over Sampdoria. Shortly after,
he signed his first professional contract with the Club. The stage was set
and in April 2015, his time finally came, when manager Sam Allardyce
selected the then-18-year-old to start alongside James Collins in defence in
a London derby against Queens Park Rangers. "I got told the day before that
I would be starting," recalled Burke. "It came as a bit of a surprise
because I hadn't played for the first team in a competitive game for a
while.
"And to be told I was going in straight from the start came as a shock, to
be honest. I was a bit nervous which I think is natural, but the lads said
that was normal, so I just tried to focus and look forward to the game. "To
be a West Ham fan about to play my first Premier League game, obviously I
was excited but the focus has got to be on the game straight away to be
fair."

The match

QUEENS PARK RANGERS 0-0 WEST HAM UNITED
Premier League, Saturday 25 April 2015, Loftus Road

Queens Park Rangers: Green, Onuoha, Dunne, Caulker, Hill (Suk-young 65),
Phillips, Barton, Sandro, Henry, Zamora, Austin
West Ham United: Adrian, Jenkinson, Collins, Burke, Cresswell, Downing,
Kouyate, Noble, Jarvis (C.Cole 55), Nolan, Valencia

Referee: Mike Jones
Attendance: 18,036

With five matches left to play in the Premier League, West Ham were sitting
in the mid-table security of tenth place. Opponents QPR, however, were
fighting for their lives at the bottom, two points from safety. It was set
to be a busy afternoon for Burke and his fellow defenders. Alongside the
youngster was Collins, with full-backs Carl Jenkinson and Aaron Cresswell
either side of the centre-back partnership. With the solid midfield duo of
Mark Noble and Cheikhou Kouyate in front and Adrian in goal, Burke was well
protected, but nevertheless, a performance was needed against a battling
Super Hoops team led by boss Chris Ramsey. "They were a tough side to play
against at the time," said Burke, looking back on his big day. "As a
defender, you had to be focused because you knew they could go direct or
play in front of you. "I got a few tackles in, cleared a few balls and I
remember early doors I nearly scored as well. I can't remember who swung in
a corner, but I got up and nearly put a header in. "I was playing to the
left of Ginge and he was really helpful. He was in my ear the whole game,
telling me what to do and guiding me through it. "He's obviously really
experienced and he just helped me through, which is what you need as a young
centre-back coming into a game like that."

In the first half, Collins was penalised for a handball inside the penalty
area but Charlie Austin, stepping up from 12 yards, was denied by Adrian in
goal. The Hammers went close when Cresswell's free-kick was saved by Rob
Green at the other end, but late on, Richard Dunne thought he had won it for
the Hoops before his header was ruled out by referee Mike Jones. The
Hammers held on for a point, which would eventually see their tally of 47
steer them to a 12th-place finish.
"To get a clean sheet as a defender, you can't do much more and I was really
happy with the way it went," said Burke, proud of his performance. "Early
doors they got that penalty but Austin missed, so it was happy days and we
defended really well after that. "Under Big Sam we always had a good focus
in training on keeping clean sheets and making sure we did the basics so
that was good for a defender like myself. You can't complain with a clean
sheet away in a London derby."

The reaction

Burke went on to start the next four matches in the Premier League for
Allardyce's side but it was his first he decided is his favourite so far in
Claret and Blue.
He added: "It was just a whole new experience for me, having the West Ham
fans clapping me and the team at the end, having been in that crowd many
times before. It was great. "The whole family were there too and I was
pleased for them to watch me play that first league game. It was one of
those you don't forget.
"QPR is a very closed-in ground, it's very tight and the fans are right on
top of you. For a Premier League debut, I couldn't have asked for a better
atmosphere away from home. The atmosphere was a joke! It was so good.
"Getting a clean sheet definitely gave me confidence going into the next few
games as well, because I think I started the next three or four in the
league after that. It went from there so doing well in that QPR match worked
out well."

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Former Hammer pays tribute to 'standard bearer' Regis
WHUFC.com

Former West Ham United striker Bobby Barnes has paid a heartfelt tribute to
the late Cyrille Regis, who passed away this week at the age of 59. Capped
five times by England, centre forward Regis was one of the first black
footballers to make a significant impact on the British game and inspired
many youngsters from similar backgrounds to take up the game. Among those to
follow in the footsteps of the West Bromwich Albion favourite was Barnes,
four years his junior, who graduated from the Academy of Football before
playing 54 times in Claret and Blue.

"I first heard the sad news about Cyrille when someone sent me a text,"
Barnes, who is now deputy chief executive of the PFA (Professional
Footballers' Association), told Ken Dyer in Saturday's Official Programme
for the visit of AFC Bournemouth. "I honestly didn't believe it because he
looked after himself so I rang [Cyrille's long-time West Bromwich Albion
teammate] Brendon Batson and he confirmed it. "Cyrille was someone we all
looked up to, even going back to when I was making my way in the game. He
had gone through so much, along with Laurie Cunningham and Brendon and as a
young black player, you looked at him and said to yourself: 'He's taken so
much on our behalf. He's the standard bearer who has come through so much –
and thrived.' "People have often asked me what it was like when I was coming
through and yes, there was a certain awareness but back then, a lot of it
went over my head, to the extent that I was determined to do what I set out
to do, whatever anyone else said or did. "Cyrille was four years older than
me and he went through it in those early years. Since then I have spoken to
him a lot. "I remember England playing Spain in Madrid in 2004 and there was
a lot of racial abuse of several of our black players even then. I recall
talking to Cyrille afterwards and actually having a laugh because we both
agreed: 'Do you know what? That wasn't that bad compared to how it used to
be!
"I remember the days when it was so bad, the National Front were dishing out
leaflets outside the Boleyn. "We tried to lighten things when we could. I
remember we played up at Newcastle one day and I used to get so much stick
up there – bananas and all sorts – so the lads said 'we're going to give you
a bit of support Bob. We want you to lead us out for the second half and
show them what we're about'. "Naively I marched out of the tunnel, looked
behind me and I was the only one there. The rest were still in the tunnel!
"We all looked up to Cyrille, though. He was the big brother, if you like.
Our generation of black players had so much respect for him, as a friend but
also a pioneer. As Dion Dublin said: 'All of us have come through on
Cyrille's shoulders because he paved the way'. Even the current generation
of black players have so much to thank him for. "As a man, he was always
humble and respectful and as a player, he was a powerhouse. He got five
England caps but should have won far more than that. "The first thing I did
when I heard the news was to go on line and watch the goal he scored against
Norwich. I had to see it again for myself. He has four or five opponents
trying to pull him back on a muddy pitch and it's though they're not there.
He just slams the ball in from 35 yards. "He wasn't that tall but he was
built like a heavyweight boxer."

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Vashon Neufville - The new left-back in the changing room
WHUFC.com

With Arthur Masuaku busy establishing himself as a firm fans' favourite and
Aaron Cresswell impressing in a new role in West Ham United's back five, it
would be easy to ignore another left-back emerging behind the scenes. But
Vashon Neufville does not want to be ignored. And after being handed a spot
in the Hammers' first-team squad for the first time nine days ago, it is
clear his hard work is beginning to pay off. The young left-back did not get
on the pitch against Shrewsbury Town in the original Emirates FA Cup
third-round clash between the two sides, but that taster of senior action
has left the defender hungry for more. "It was amazing to be involved,
especially in the FA Cup," Neufville, still only 18-years-old, reflects. "It
was the first time and I've been thinking about it for a while. Hopefully
there are plenty more chances for me to do it again and maybe get on the
pitch."

Should the full-back continue his impressive form for the Club's U23 side in
Premier League 2, he will not have to wait long until that chance finally
comes.
A former England U16 and U17 international, the youngster's talent is
obvious and, as a player who flies down the left-wing for the U23s before
tearing back to help his team defend, Neufville encapsulates what it means
to be a modern-day full-back. They are not skills that come overnight for a
young player, though, and the likes of Masuaku, Cresswell and Paul Konchesky
– who is often found mentoring young Hammers at Chadwell Heath – have been
key influences on the defender. "Both the first team left-backs Cress and
Masuaku are great players so I always watch what they're doing on the
training pitch and learn from them," Neufville explains. "If I get the
chance to replicate how they play then maybe that increases my chance of
being able to fill in for them at some point this season. They are both
brilliant at getting forward and delivering crosses and they can defend too.
"Paul has also really helped me this season, not just on the pitch. He has
helped with my lifestyle and given me all his experience. "It's great to
have players around the training ground who have been involved with the Club
in the past, like Jack Collison and Matt Upson too, and you can always ask
loads of questions. You can always keep on learning."

A former England youth international, Neufville will be hoping to be
involved in some capacity tonight but, should another opportunity elsewhere
to gain senior experience present itself, the teenager is keen. "I want to
get some senior experience this season, that's the aim for the second half
of the campaign," he says. "Hopefully I can get out on loan somewhere this
month and play some League football. That's the aim but we'll wait and see."


Wait and see we will, but if Neufville continues in the same vein, the wait
for a first senior appearance and the chance to put what he has learned into
practice will soon be over.

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Cullen eyeing Premier League chance
WHUFC.com

Josh Cullen is eyeing up a Premier League chance after impressing in both
games of the Hammers' Emirates FA Cup tie against Shrewsbury Town. Cullen
returned from a loan at Bolton Wanderers, alongside matchwinner Reece Burke,
to play his part in the cup tie and wants to add to his one Premier League
appearance for the Club so far – in the famous 3-0 win at Liverpool at the
start of the 2015/16 season. Now with plenty of experience under his belt
from those loans at Bolton and Bradford City, Cullen is convinced he is
ready to kick on, "Pushing on in the Premier League is the aim," he said.
"It's great to be back – I want to play for West Ham and going out on loan
is about improving and developing to get that chance to play for West Han.
"I'm delighted to get two appearances under my belt, two starts, and it's
great to have that faith shown in me. I want to push on from here."

Tuesday's replay was Cullen's first London Stadium outing since the official
opening against Juventus, so he was delighted to be back and share the
winning moment with his fellow Academy graduate Burke. "It was good to be
back out there," he added. "It's a great feeling to play in front of the
West Ham fans. It was a tough game and credit to Shrewsbury for making it
tough for us but we're through and now we can push on to the next round.
"I'm buzzing for Burkey to get the goal. It was one of them – he's made a
great contact with it, struck it nicely and it's pinged off the bar and gone
in, "He's got good technique, he's not a head it and kick it centre half,
and I'm delighted for him."

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Huddersfield 1-4 West Ham (And Other Ramblings)
KUMB.com
Filed: Thursday, 18th January 2018
By: HeadHammerShark

"Just a perfect day, problems all left alone,
Weekenders on our own, it's such fun"
- Lou Reed, "Perfect Day"

And that will do very nicely indeed. In a season that seems to have been
tinged with a sense of disappointment from the moment that we started the
year with all the well drilled organisation of the Hawaiian Emergency Alert
team, and then slammed shut the transfer window with a slightly incredulous
"Is that it?", it must be said that in those brief, tantalising moments when
things have been good, they've been almost perfect.

Mark Noble. His legs have gone. Literally, in this case.

Two down to Spurs at Wembley and then roaring back to triumph 3-2; that
thumping 3-0 win at Stoke; Chelsea kept at arms length and poked like a
tiger for a 1-0 victory; the last gasp home winners against Swansea and West
Brom that masked the inadequacy of what had gone before. All moments to
remember and a reminder that when the stars align and the gods are with us,
then West Ham can serve up great days just like anyone else.

And what was even better about this one was that it almost sprang from
nowhere. After twenty minutes of this game it wouldn't have been a surprise
if a great celestial hand had appeared from the clouds, picked up the John
Smith's stadium, turned it upside down and shaken it, while yelling "IS THIS
THING ON?".

It wasn't for a lack of effort on behalf of either side, but the stars
weren't aligning for anybody. The home team huffed and puffed but never
looked like causing us any damage, while we continually got Manuel Lanzini
on the ball in dangerous positions, only for his radar to malfunction.
Shades of that Hawaiian Emergency Alert team once again. Overall, I'm not
sure I've seen so much effort produce so little of value since Madonna last
starred in a film.

In such circumstances, the tropes demand that you either need a moment of
individual brilliance or catastrophic error to conjure up a goal. And so it
was that Huddersfield keeper Jonas Lossl lined up a goal kick, noticed that
all his defenders on the edge of the box were marked and still passed it to
the one of them anyway. This is a tactic which the Terriers have used
regularly all season, and for all I know it could be a key component of why
they have done so well. But in that moment, with the way that Lanzini,
Arnautovic and Noble were aligned, it was fairly clear that we had set
ourselves up with the expectation that they would try this, and thus just
looked ludicrous.

So Lossl found Joe Lolley, Arnautovic hassled the young man, and Noble stole
it from him and ran through to coolly bend it round the keeper for a barely
deserved lead. It was an interesting passage of play because we had already
forced Lossl to go long from goal kicks previously and won the ball back as
a result. What I liked about this was that we were prepared for it and it
worked so well it resulted in us scoring. I might be doing Bilic and his
staff a disservice, but that feels like exactly the kind of attention to
detail that was so frequently missing from his latter day teams. By
contrast, whether it's towels on the sideline for long throws, or minimising
the gaps between midfield and defence, you sense that there are no stones
being left unturned by Moyes in the search for an edge. This goal would be
Exhibit A for why that's a Very Good Thing.

***

"When I'm outside in a real good mood
You could almost forget 'bout all the other things"
- Kurt Vile and Courtney Barnett, "Over Everything"

It was at this point that I started to get a nagging sensation that I'd seen
that goal somewhere before. I'm always hugely appreciative of opposition
goalkeeping incompetence, as I often mention to my eldest daughter Barthez,
and Lossl was definitely ringing some bells here. And then it came to me.

Finn Harps.

I shall say no more, but I shall simply invite you to watch this clip.
Thirteen year old me nearly burst a blood vessel laughing at this the first
time round. I think Lossl might have been channelling his inner Finn Harp
here.

***

"Are you hoping for a miracle?"
- Bloc Party, "Helicopter"

So with a one goal lead to protect and Huddersfield looking insipid, it felt
very much to me like we could sit on that advantage and possibly snatch a
second on the break. This is why my opinion should always be taken with a
Super Sized pinch of salt.

Approaching half time, we were still playing disjointedly when Lolley picked
up a loose ball wide on our left, cut into the box under minimal challenge
and curled a sumptuous equaliser inside Adrian's far post. The finishing in
this game really deserved a better showcase – similar to when when you see a
band you like on The Andrew Marr Show at nine on a Sunday morning and Chris
Grayling is tapping his foot away on the sofa. If that was a goal from
nothing, then it at least better reflected the balance of play in a game
where neither side was really doing anything of note.

But if goals from nothing are your thing, then Marko Arnautovic seems to be
your man. It took him just eleven seconds of the second half to latch on to
a speculative Kouyate flick on, pull it out of the air, baffle Tommy Smith
and drill home a fine low left footed shot. In that moment the entire
Huddersfield team talk was consigned to the waste paper bin, and we could
once again retain our shape and look to hit them on the break. It was a
moment of sublime skill and a far more difficult finish that it looked at
first glance.

Thereafter, we looked like we might score with every attack, as Huddersfield
decided to give defending a miss and move to a "Rush Goalie" formation that
I haven't seen since leaving school. We duly took advantage with a
beautifully crafted first goal for Lanzini, which he finished smartly. He
then helped himself to a second when Arnautovic went full "T-Rex out of the
enclosure", leaving a trail of mangled bodies behind him until his strike
partner arrived to smash home the loose ball like some glory hunting
Velociraptor. The Austrian celebrated with all the relish of a dad who had
just discovered his kids have changed the Sky Q pin.

But here's the thing about Moyes' West Ham. We continue to win in very
unlikely ways. Now hold on, because I know you might be spluttering at the
mouth and wondering how I could possibly find fault with a 4-1 victory, so
let me firstly say that I am not. This was a wonderful win. A perfect day.
But let me sound a note of caution, because this is The H List after all,
and you can go elsewhere for cheerleading if that's your thing.

As this shot map from Caley Graphics shows, while there wasn't much of a
threat all day from Huddersfield while we displayed almost unheard levels of
ruthlessness in our finishing. I was somewhat shocked when I saw the low xG
of our chances, but that is kind of the point of xG - to remove the inherent
biases of our own opinions. And so hats off to Noble, Arnautovic and Lanzini
for their classy finishes. As it was, our best chance actually might have
fallen to Kouyate who couldn't redirect an Ogbonna header just inches from
the line, after a corner.

But the reason for my nagging concern is that we won't score four goals
every week from six shots on target. We won't score last minute winners
every week. We won't keep Chelsea quiet for 85 minutes every week. We won't
have three shots to Spurs 31 and get a 1-1 draw every week. And if you think
that is all just a load of overly negative shit, then ask yourself whether
either of Bilic or Pardew were able to sustain their habit of going a goal
down all the time and still winning. Regression to the mean is a bitch, yo.

And yet, with every passing fixture Moyes seems to conjure up ever more
unlikely results. And here we are, with one defeat from our last eight
fixtures and up to eleventh in the table. It is truly impressive what he has
been able to achieve with a simple devotion to proper organisation and an
ability to actually coach and improve players. I'm not yet ready to commit
to Moyes on that long term deal, primarily because this sample size isn't
anywhere near big enough, but also because I would like to see more of those
wins like we had at Stoke. An impressive, dominant, no doubt about it,
"Alexa beat these fuckers like a piñata", kind of a win.

Because, for all the excellence on display here, I'm not sure it's entirely
sustainable in the long run to lean so heavily on keeping things tight and
hoping that our midfielders cum forwards will conjure something up. And in
fairness to Moyes, perhaps the best thing about this little resurgence is
how underwhelmed he seems to be with it all. As if he can't quite get over
how low the bar is in East London. He reckons we have a long way to go until
we're close to the level he wants us at and I reckon he's right. That said,
if the road is going to be long, then a few pleasant diversions such as this
will go a long way toward easing the burden.

***

"Oh, but I was so much older then,
I'm younger than that now"
- Bob Dylan, "My Back Pages"

If the calling card of the Moyes regime has been his ability to rejuvenate
players, then perhaps the shining example has been Mark Noble. I remain
convinced that Noble was either injured or unfit at the start of the season,
as it turns out that a 70 yard Croatian long jumper might not have been
right at the cutting edge of elite athlete fitness preparation. Since his
return to the side under Moyes he has been exemplary, and has done a
marvellous job of thumbing his nose at unbelievers like me.

What I really noticed on Saturday was how much sharper he looked during the
many short sprints that are the staple diet of the modern day Premier League
midfielder. While Noble always has loads of time on the ball and always
looks to retain possession in tight areas, I think he is also benefitting
from the new system. With less ground to cover, he seemed more explosive and
quicker over those short distances. His goal was a case in point, but
generally I thought he did his work brilliantly and was the best player on
the pitch, even allowing for the performances of Arnautovic and Lanzini.

I always think that laymen like me probably make far too much of formations.
I strongly doubt whether professionals care too much about the concept of a
3-4-3 vs a 3-5-2, but instead focus simply on their tasks and the space on
the pitch they are either supposed to attack or defend. Because ultimately,
football is really just a game about space and trying to gain supremacy of
it.

But if you divide the pitch up into five sections lengthwise, I think you
can visualise why Noble seems to be better utilised in this system. None of
this is an advanced tactical revelation, by the way, but instead just
something I've been thinking about for a while.

If you look at the pitch in this way - and I stress again that I am not a
qualified coach or the second coming of Ron Greenwood - I think it's easier
to see that in this 4-2-3-1 formation you demand a lot of your central
players. The two central midfielders have to laterally cover all five
sections between them, unless the advanced three are hard workers and
prepared to track back all day. Of course, if they are Dimitri Payet,
Sofiane Feghouli and Manuel Lanzini then you might as well cast a couple of
spells and get yourself a pet hippogriff to do it.

Similarly, the two centre backs need to be able to provide a solid, mobile
base and allow the full backs to roam high up the pitch and try and get
overloads out wide. We worked this pretty well in 2015-16 when Noble and
Kouyate were imperious, and we had one of Europe's best players drawing all
sorts of defensive cover on our left wing. With two mobile full backs, and a
generally weak division, we were able to ride this formation all the way to
the cusp of the Champions League.

But in the intervening years, the ravages of time and injuries have taken
their toll. Certain players have visibly declined, and I counted Noble among
them. But in this new system, there are some obvious advantages for him.
Firstly, he can now park himself in the middle of that midfield three and
have a greatly reduced amount of space to police. Now Obiang and Kouyate can
drift out wide to provide support for those isolated wing backs. Noble,
meanwhile, can sit in the middle and control possession against the weaker
teams, and he did that here splendidly.

It helps, too, that he has a solid three behind him meaning that his
backtracking should be reduced as well. There are flaws of course, and the
wide areas continue to look a vulnerablity that we have seen repeatedly
exposed, but as an overall platform it all seems pretty stable, although
even as I write this all out, I feel like we might need to check that
Zabaleta's legs are still attached given all that running he has to do.

I don't know how much weight any of that would carry with qualified coaches,
but to my uneducated mind it makes some sense. That deep lying style allows
us to compress the space well, and reduce the stress on older legs, but does
also rely on the front men having to cover lots of ground ahead of them. In
that sense, the renaissance of Arnautovic has relied as much upon his off
the ball work as his goalscoring. Note that he was missing and Hernandez
started at Wembley, when it looked like we couldn't have hurt them even with
a Sherman tank. Which is kind of ironic given that Obiang unleashed a
Howitzer to open the scoring.

As I mentioned above, I'm not entirely sure all of this is sustainable, but
it feels very much like Moyes has cut his cloth to fit the players he has
available to him. A better centre back and he might be able to revert to a
back four, a better central midfield and he might be able to go to a pairing
in there and push forward another body to help Arnautovic. Whatever he
decides, I still think we need to some warm bodies this month.

***

"I am he as you are he as you are me
And we are all together"
- The Beatles, "I am the Walrus"


So for all of that praise directed towards Noble and the defensive shape of
the team, the most eye catching piece of our performance was the front two
of Lanzini and Arnautovic. By deploying them as a pair, Moyes continued his
policy of slinging players into advanced positions when he doesn't trust
them to do any tracking back, with Antonio being the first deployed in this
manner.

Talking to a Newcastle supporting friend on Monday morning, he said
something which made me laugh, but actually makes some sense. He said that
we were using Arnautovic in a similar way to Ronaldo.

After I stopped screwing up my face, I thought about it, and it's not quite
as insane as it seems. It's insane, of course, but not as bad as, say,
turning to Robert Snodgrass as the answer to your January problems.

Anyway, both Arnautovic and his Portuguese doppelgänger are tall, strong and
quick wide forwards who have been converted into central strikers and both
possess unusual gifts for someone in the position. Now let's get that into
perspective - Ronaldo has almost refined the role of what a central striker
looks like, so to compare him directly with a player in the bottom half of
the Premier League after a good game away at Huddersfield would be well Tim
Sherwood.

But what my friend was getting at, was more that we have abandoned the
traditional demands of our strikers and are instead playing a very different
way. Arnautovic is certainly strong enough to compete for balls and do the
traditional grunt work of a striker, but where we really want to get him is
isolated with defenders so he can run at them and beyond them. In a similar
style to Ronaldo, if nowhere near the same level, we are asking him to use
his physicality to lead counter attacks and stretch teams.

Take our last goal for example. That is not a goal that can be scored unless
he has the pace, skill and power to get to the ball and then bulldoze into
the area. None of our other players could have done that and it is a huge
feather in the caps of Moyes and his coaching staff that they have
engineered this development.

And yes, that third goal.

When did you last see us play like that? I can't remember a move of that ilk
since the Carlton Cole screamer at Wigan, and while we played well in that
2015-16 season, we haven't mustered up anything that good since moving to
the London Stadium. What was encouraging was that the goal actually
showcased exactly what you want from a team in our situation. We pressed
high, won the ball back, our midfielders shuffled it around until finding
Arnautovic in space and a stepover later Lanzini was showing Chicharito what
he's missing. A perfect goal on a perfect day.

***

"This is a tale of two city situations, a mutual appreciation
Away from narrow preconception"
- Super Furry Animals, "Juxtaposed With U"


Which brings me to our transfer window. I'm not necessarily climbing the
walls at the lack of activity, because the team's resurgence has lessened
the threat of relegation considerably and if they can finish the month
unbeaten we should be in full ascent up the side of Mt Mediocrity. An
unheard of state of affairs when Brighton were pulling us to pieces all
those weeks ago.

That being said, I think we need players still, but I'm starting to develop
a weird, zen like faith in Moyes' ability to mine points from the most
unpromising of situations. In the same way that when Charlie's Angels: Full
Throttle came out and suddenly they could all fight like Neo from The Matrix
without any explanation for it, I feel the same way about Moyes. I don't
know what he's doing, or why it's happening but let's just go with it.

That West Ham back three

But the strangest rumour abounding about West Ham at the moment is the one
linking Andy Carroll to Chelsea. When this emerged initially I assumed it
was simply the sound of column inches being desperately filled or Carroll's
agent angling for a new deal and overshooting the runway a little bit, but
now it refuses to die down.

Like most Hammers fans I'd be prepared to drive him over there myself except
I don't own an ambulance and I can't be doing with him pulling a hamstring
turning over the radio when we hit traffic on the M25. I know plenty might
keep him, but he's a disruptive force to the team purely because he confuses
how we want to play. Send him West and let Conte sort that out, and if we
get Batshuayi back in exchange then I could certainly live with that.
Besides, the Champions League deserves to see Andy Carroll. They've had it
too easy for too long, with their perfectly manicured pitches and slick
passing football and now it's time for their Hawaiian Missile Warning. Here
comes General Zod, Europe. Prepare to kneel.

Big Andy - Stick that up yer bleeding San Siro

But tragically, the other January tale that I seem to be hearing on repeat
is the story of us trying to get Robert Snodgrass back from his loan spell.
Not content with slagging him off for a year, and ignoring the not
insignificant question about where he would play in this line up - it is
really twisting my melon that after their fucking shambles of a transfer
window this time last year, these dickheads have searched every inch of the
globe, scanned YouTube into the wee hours and decided that the answer to
their problems is.....the same guy that they signed last year and didn't
know how to utilise.

Never change West Ham. I love you. You're perfect.

*I'm sorry this one was late and indeed was written as we were playing
Shrewsbury. Life gets in the way sometimes. Still, chapeau Reece Burke.

Please note that the opinions expressed in this article are those of the
author and do not necessarily represent the views of, nor should be
attributed to, KUMB.com.

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Memories of days like these
KUMB.com
Filed: Thursday, 18th January 2018
By: Paul Walker

It's about time to be positive… and yes, I know that's the last thing you
expected to hear from me after such a long time being a cynical old bugger
where West Ham are concerned. But after the last 20 months of calamity,
under-achievement, laughable transfer windows, rain reaching 20 rows back in
the Bobby Moore lower and referees like Bobby Madley, there is a time to see
the good side of things. These last few weeks, one league defeat in eight,
great away wins at Stoke and Huddersfield, stuffing Chelsea, making Spurs
sick, it goes on. Hard to believe so much has changed since David Moyes
arrived in November.

I normally wouldn't dream of saying "I told you so" about anything, although
it is a phrase I use frequently with the boy scouts I watch the Irons with.
But you lot, well I doubt I would get away with it. But here goes. I told
you so! Moyes arrived accompanied by a cloud of sneering. This followed a
combination of Salford-San Sebastian-Wearside managerial rubbish from a man
many felt had seen his best time and would never reclaim his Everton halcyon
days. So, I offered you then a piece about the Moyes I had witnessed working
for a decade. To no real surprise, I was subjected to a considerably amount
of "you don't know what you are talking about" and worse, from all and
sundry. Particularly the previously-mentioned boy scouts. But to even a
little surprise from myself, Moyes has answered his critics, got a firm grip
of our lifeless, disinterested squad, made some tough decisions and planted
us in mid-table and the fourth round of the FA Cup.

It is far too early to try to suggest that the corner has been turned, that
Moyes is the new messiah in east London, because football has a nasty habit
of kicking you in the nuts when you think things are OK and the new manager
is a genius. I suggest any wandering Stoke fan reading this takes notice of
the last remark when they consider the bizarre appointment of Paul Lambert.

I recall a jouno friend telling me he gave up on him at Villa because his
Scottish accent was totally indecipherable and what you did understand was
gibberish anyway. Having experienced Kenny Dalglish (his accent, not his
coaching) I take the point.

Moyes ,in some ways, finds himself in a good position. If he's only here for
six months, he might as well tackle head-on the problems at the LS,
regardless of who he upsets. If it works, he's got another couple of years
here, if it fails then he'll go somewhere and get a job, the Aussies and the
Yanks are always a good option!
He sorted the goalkeeping problem, dumping Joe Hart. The haters got their
way and I doubt any of them will comment on the wonder save that stopped
Shrewsbury's Stefan Payne when clean through in Tuesday's replay. The Moyes
haters, the Mark Noble haters, have seemingly gone very quiet, thankfully.
Noble has relished his role in central midfield and has been outstanding
under Moyes. Moyes, himself, must think he is akin to James Corden parting
sheep. The points whisperer.

Moyes' overall record now with us is P 15 W 5 D 5 L 5 F 19 A 19. In the
league he has taken 16 points from 36. He has now easily surpassed Slaven
Bilic's league record this season before he got the boot.. Slav took nine
points from 33 before his demise. Moyes has also sorted a defence, and
hopefully realises we are much more solid when James Collins plays alongside
Angelo Ogbonna. In fact, we have lost only once this season when these two
are paired together. Oggy can, and now is, looking like a classy Italian
defender who could play for Juventus.

On other occasions, with Winston Reid around, he looks like one of those
Italian waiters in a kick-about on Rimini beach, some of us will recall from
the old days before the Cockneys discovered Florida. If our much-loved board
fail to give Collins a new contract, they want shooting. He may not be able
to play every game, but he is our toughest, most reliable defender. One more
year surely, with his character crucial to the dressing room these days,
would be worth it. He starts each season as fourth choice and is in the
side by November. There are so many on daft, laughably expensive contracts
at West Ham, this needs to be sorted quickly, Sully.

As for the sharp end, Moyes has decided that any combination of Andy
Carroll, Chicharito and Andre Ayew does not work. And Diafra Sakho is
swinging the lead, cheating the club and us and seemingly inventing injuries
to get away, so he has ceased to exist. So Arnie and Manu are being allowed
to run riot up front, their technique, first touch, passing quality and
movement giving us a sharp edge. Michail Antonio, when he decides to be fit,
is the back-up. Bet he would die for a first touch like Marko Arnautovic! I
recall saying that Moyes can organise a side, make them tough to beat, make
them fitter and will get results. It may not be pretty, but like the old
Everton, it is effective, and that's what we needed when he took over.

So it's with a little smugness that I can say, "I told you so". Trick now is
for Moyes to keep this run going and not make me, and himself, look a mug.
Now I wouldn't change it for the world, lets make that clear, but being a
West Ham fan isn't always that easy! Not for us the sense of expectation and
laughable entitlement (that's you, Tottenham) that surrounds the big clubs,
the two Manchester giants, Liverpool, and the two major clubs in London,
Arsenal and Chelsea.
There's usually a whole week of public, media and TV outcry when they don't
win, or at least find a soft referee who makes sure they do. Then there's
us. Not quite the same, is it? It occurred to me this weekend that I am
approaching 60 years supporting West Ham. First game in 1958, first away
outside London the '64 FA Cup semi-final at Hillsborough. I reckon that I
have watched West Ham in 70+ stadiums, including Wembley, over those years.

Now I'm nothing special here, there are countless old codgers like me who
have travelled the land and beyond supporting the Irons. And you get used to
being disappointed, heartbroken at times, or regularly cheated by the
aforementioned dummy referees. Yes, I mean you and your like 'Bobby
Bad-ley'.

So away days like Huddersfield are few and far between. David Cross's four
goals at Spurs, a couple of fives at Chelsea, Paolo's day at Old Trafford,
even the wins by Slav's side at Arsenal, Liverpool and Manchester City. They
all sit long in the memory.

So us travelling fans are used to nonsense. Which makes the overall display
at Huddersfield special. Not just the sublime goals, but the whole team
performance. The plan, the organisation, the working and covering and
support play, even Cheikhou Kouyate did some running.

Me and the lad had one of the best days out in years, even the Yorkshire
police were smiling and helpful. Pity they can't show the West Midlands lot
how it's done, We even found a 'happy' Huddersfield fan on the way home who
showed us where the nearest off licence was for a celebration shandy.

Our fans were excellent, even out-singing the home fans and silencing that
infernal drummer. But, to his credit, he has a sense of humour. Serenaded
with "where's the wanker with the drum" at 4-1 down, he responded with a
slow funereal beat in response. It'll be a shame if Huddersfield go down.


Please note that the opinions expressed in this article are those of the
author and do not necessarily represent the views of, nor should be
attributed to, KUMB.com.

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West Ham fail in attempt to recall Robert Snodgrass from Aston Villa
By Danny Gallagher
Last Updated: 18/01/18 1:10pm
SSN

West Ham have failed in their attempt to recall winger Robert Snodgrass from
his loan at Aston Villa, Sky sources understand. The Sky Bet Championship
side have refused to allow the Scotsman to leave Villa Park and return to
his parent club midway through the season. It is understood the original
deal did not contain a recall option. Scotland international Snodgrass
joined Villa in the summer after being deemed surplus to requirements under
then-manager Slaven Bilic. But Bilic was sacked in November following the
Hammers' poor start to the season, and new manager David Moyes was keen to
have Snodgrass at his disposal for the remainder of the campaign. With Villa
keen to hold on to their loan signing, Snodgrass is expected to remain in
the Midlands until the summer. West Ham signed Snodgrass from Hull for £10m
last January and the club's hierarchy are not keen to spend additional money
on releasing the 30-year-old from his loan agreement.

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Swansea interested in West Ham forward Andre Ayew
By Kaveh Solhekol
Last Updated: 18/01/18 10:00am
SSN

Swansea are interested in bringing West Ham forward Andre Ayew back to the
club, according to Sky sources. West Ham value the 28-year-old at £20m - the
price they paid Swansea to sign him in August 2016 in what was then a
club-record deal. But a deal between the clubs is unlikely, with sources
close to Ayew insisting he is not keen on a return to the Liberty Stadium.
The Ghana international joined Swansea from Marseille in 2015 and enjoyed a
superb debut campaign in England, scoring 12 goals in 35 appearances. Ayew
has struggled to establish himself as a first-team regular at West Ham since
his move to the club, netting 12 goals in 50 appearances. Sky sources
understand Swansea are also interested in Ayew's West Ham team-mate Diafra
Sakho.

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Inter Milan midfielder Joao Mario turns down West Ham loan
Last Updated: 17/01/18 11:28pm
SSN

Inter Milan midfielder Joao Mario has decided against joining West Ham on
loan, according to Sky in Italy. The Serie A side were happy to let the
24-year-old move to the Premier League on a loan deal. Inter signed the
midfielder from Sporting Lisbon for £40m in the summer of 2016. Joao Mario,
who was a member of the Portugal side which triumphed at the 2016 European
Championships in France, had been previously linked with a move to
Manchester United by newspaper reports. He has had to make do with a
bit-part role at the San Siro this season as coach Luciano Spalletti has
largely preferred Marcelo Brozovic in attacking midfield positions. Sky
Sports News reported earlier this month that David Moyes had considered
moves for Arsenal midfielder Mohamed Elneny and now-Valencia midfielder
Francis Coquelin.

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Andy Carroll tells West Ham he is unable to train amid Chelsea interest -
but ankle scans indicate no problem
The Irons have yet to receive a formal bid - loan or otherwise - for their
29-year-old striker
The Mirror

Chelsea target Andy Carroll has told West Ham he is unable to train. Carroll
claims he has an ankle injury, but scans taken by the Hammers are understood
not to show a problem. The forward has missed West Ham's last three games,
including Tuesday night's FA Cup replay win over Shrewsbury. The Irons have
yet to receive a formal bid - loan or otherwise - for the 29-year-old
striker from Chelsea. However, West Ham are aware that Chelsea want a loan
move for their target man, who has 18-months left to run on his
£100,000-a-week deal. The Hammers would prefer a permanent deal and would
be interested only in offers over £20million for their player. Carroll
opened his league account for the season to help West Ham come from behind
to beat West Brom a fortnight ago. He was on the bench for the 1-1 draw with
Spurs two days later when he came on for the final five minutes. Chelsea
have been targeting a tall striker and also have Crystal Palace's Christian
Benteke among their options.

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Marko Arnautovic will have a rough ride at Wigan in FA Cup clash, vows
Latics captain Sam Morsy
Wigan beat Bournemouth 3-0 on Wednesday night to reach FA Cup fourth round
The League One leaders will face West Ham at home next weekend
Captain Sam Morsy vows to meet Premier League side with a physical approach
By Joe Bernstein for MailOnline
PUBLISHED: 14:06, 18 January 2018 | UPDATED: 14:06, 18 January 2018

Wigan Athletic are promising to give West Ham's Marko Arnautovic a tough
time at the DW Stadium later this month as they revive memories of their
famous FA Cup triumph in 2013. Wigan booked a fourth round date with The
Hammers by trouncing another Premier League side Bournemouth 3-0 on
Wednesday night. Three Latics players were booked as they rattled
Bournemouth physically and skipper Sam Morsy, who scored the first goal,
wants them to make life as uncomfortable as possible for "Mad Marko". 'I'm
not sure how Arnautovic will feel about coming to the DW Stadium. If you're
playing against teams two divisions higher, the chances are their players
are going to be better technically, tactically and physically. So you have
to have an equaliser somewhere, whether it's the weather, the atmosphere.
'We have to do everything 100 per cent to try and match them up. You want to
test yourselves against the top players. We're in a really confident place,
the lads are flying. 'We go into these games believing and thinking we are
going to win. Not just thinking let's give a good account of ourselves.'

Wigan are top of League One under Paul Cook and have a proud FA Cup record
in recent years. They beat Manchester City 1-0 at Wembley to lift the trophy
in 2013 with an injury-time winner from Ben Watson. The following year they
defeated City again at The Etihad en route to the semi-finals. 'Any Wigan
fan, the first thing they will talk about is the FA Cup win and Ben Watson's
goal,' added Morsy, who scored the opener against Bournemouth. It was
massive, the biggest moment in the club's history. We want to go on a run
again. Let's see how far we can go.' Ironically, Wigan also beat Bournemouth
in a third round replay five years ago en route to winning the cup.

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Andy Carroll: West Ham striker facing a month out injured
BBC.co.uk

West Ham United striker Andy Carroll is facing an extended spell on the
sidelines due to an ankle injury. It is not know precisely how long the
England forward will be out for but the minimum is likely to be a month, and
it could potentially be much longer. Carroll has only made one late
substitute appearance since scoring twice against West Brom on 2 January.
The injury is likely to end any hope the 29-year-old has of moving during
the current transfer window. Chelsea had been linked with the former
Newcastle and Liverpool striker, although manager Antonio Conte has refused
to discuss any interest in the player.

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